Let It Go - Peter Walsh Page 0,20

But having too much focus on your mortality can hinder you from enjoying the life you have now.

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Would You Rather?

In downsizing, the equation isn’t “Letting something go = loss.” In fact, keeping stuff can cause a loss.

Have you ever played “Would You Rather?” It’s a silly game in which your friends ask you to choose between two competing (and usually equally unappealing) options. Would you rather eat a week-old pizza or take an ice-cold shower? Would you rather dye your hair pink or shave off one eyebrow?

What if we took this game and applied it to your happiness, your relationships, your possessions, and your home? Where would you place importance and value?

Would you rather have your mother’s wedding dress or a relationship with your siblings?

Would you rather have your entire set of collectibles that fills one room, or enjoy a smaller home that costs $300 less per month?

Would you rather have a garage full of stored boxes or room to park your car out of the weather?

Often these are the sorts of options you face while downsizing—but you only realize what your choice involves when you dig deep enough to find it and reframe it. (“Wow—that fight over the wedding dress did put some distance between us! I wish I’d known those were the two options before I made the decision.”)

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On the other hand, many people give too little time and attention to their life’s meaning. Where are their internal compasses pointing? What achievements are worth remembering and celebrating? What kind of mark do they want to leave, and how do they want to be remembered by their families? Often people don’t give these questions enough thought.

Now is the perfect time for you to do so. What will mark your achievements after you’re gone?

And finally, most people leave little focus for themselves. I’m not talking about the vast amount of time that they spend worrying about their health, looking in the mirror, or posting pictures of their dinners online. I’m talking about cultivating a deep understanding of how to live their lives to the fullest. Most people just don’t do enough to nurture and feed themselves.

When these elements of your life aren’t properly balanced and well-maintained, your stuff entraps you. Relationships cause pain, and your mortality is a source of fear. You’re confused about the meaning of why you’re here, and, deep down at the core of your being, doubt grows.

So I ask you: What aspects of your life receive your emphasis and time? The priorities you’ve made before this downsizing will have a marked effect on the next stage—unless you make an effort to change them now.

I’m not in a position to give you all the answers that will fix your life from top to bottom. I don’t have those skills, and that would take another book (several, actually), and you don’t have time now, do you? You have downsizing to do!

But by realizing that your life may currently be out of balance, committing to changing the imbalance, and then following the downsizing plan in this book, you’ll be off to a great start. When you let go of your old ways of looking at your possessions, you’re going to begin rearranging your emotional landscape.

Remember, the environment you’ve created in your home affects your mood, your thoughts, and your identity.

Confronting and changing your thoughts and behaviors can be difficult and time consuming (ask anyone who’s spent years in therapy!). By comparison, tossing out certain possessions, reframing how you feel about the ones that remain, and refashioning your home to support a happier frame of mind—in other words, the Let It Go process—is straightforward and definitely achievable.

The result is a bit like finding the remote control for your brain between your couch cushions, pointing it at yourself, and pressing the right buttons. You won’t necessarily find the enjoyable show you’re seeking on the first click, but keep going and you’ll get there.

You may find that your top priority becomes your self. Notice I didn’t say “yourself,” meaning you’re living with a self-centered focus. What I mean is that you’re clear about who you are. You don’t need so much stuff to provide comfort and establish your identity. Hand-in-hand with this change, you feel more confident about your meaning after sorting through your past and thinking about how you’ll use this next phase of your life. You have a better-established sense of direction and better-defined goals now.

This process can also provide a sense of peace about your