Let It Go - Peter Walsh Page 0,19

even select the first item to keep or let go. You’ve already been doing this work in the activities in Chapters 1 and 2. Acknowledging the many connections between you and your stuff is critical for downsizing in a healthy way. Hopefully, you’re already putting a name to some of the feelings you have about particular possessions. (“Ah, that’s why I’ve never been able to throw this thing away.”) The upcoming process will bring some tough moments, and your stuff will throw you some surprises. Expect that. Anticipate it when you can. Know that such moments are normal.

You’ll also have to reframe how you look at your stuff. In the literal sense, reframing means taking a picture out of the old rectangle that holds it and putting it into a new one. This new frame, when chosen well, highlights the best aspects of this picture. It improves the image.

In the Let It Go way of downsizing, reframing also means shifting the way you view each particular challenge. It may look like an obstacle, but I guarantee that it’s also holding a solution for you to find once you look at it in a different way.

Downsizing presents an amazing opportunity to reframe your entire outlook. Afterward, your stuff will play a different role in expressing your personality, and it will have a different effect on your mood.

DOWNSIZING LEADS TO A NEW POINT OF VIEW

Every year, a city’s worth of people lose their possessions swiftly and unexpectedly. In 2013, more than 360,000 homes in the United States caught on fire. Nearly half of the homes in the country are located in areas of high risk for tornadoes, wildfires, floods, earthquakes, or hurricanes.

When a disaster takes away their stuff—all those items that comfort and summon memories and express identity—victims often tell the TV or newspaper reporter that they’ve refocused on what they still have. The tragedy forces them to reframe what’s valuable to them.

They’re grateful for their loved ones and pets, and they realize the value of the kindness that friends, neighbors, and strangers offer at these times. They’re sad that they lost their personal treasures, but recognize now that the stuff wasn’t really so important after all—certainly not when compared with being alive!

Downsizing allows you to access this healthier point of view without the trauma of losing your possessions to an event outside of your control. My goal with this book is not for you to let go of all your stuff, as if a flood just swept away your home. I want you to keep cherished items on your shelves, in your closets, on bookcases, and in china cabinets. I want you to still express yourself through objects and take comfort from them. I want you to keep the stuff that’s truly important to you, as long as they are things you treasure or things you use, and they fit reasonably and comfortably into the space you have. I’ll show you later in the book how to identify these things.

Every day, we decide how we’re going to prioritize the elements of our lives, including the things we own, our relationships with family and friends, our time, our view of the world, and our values and beliefs.

Too often, people rely on their stuff to provide comfort. Way too often they calm their anxieties and boredom with it. When their paycheck arrives, they buy more of it. They buy a bigger house to store it in. They measure their time on Earth by the height of the pile they’ve acquired.

Other people throw themselves into relationships in an unhealthy way. Having healthy interactions with others is a key to happiness. But relationships become a problem when you expect them to meet unrealistic needs. Also, not working to understand the other person, or demanding more from the relationship than is reasonable, severely limits your happiness. So does taking too much from the relationship and not giving enough back to replenish it.

Too often people fear their mortality, rather than feeling reassurance about the opportunities they have during their remaining lifespan. They don’t fill their remaining time with experiences and human connections, because they’re dwelling on the portion that’s already spent. Obsessing on the past can lead you to hold on to what I call memory clutter. These are items that remind you of an important person, achievement, or event from the past. Worrying too much about the future can cause you to collect “I-might-need-it-someday” clutter. Honoring the past and preparing for the future are both important.