conscious minds, but to a deeper part, accessing them in a way that could not easily be blocked. He found pain there. He pulled at the last day’s worth, absorbing it in himself. He felt the loss of a brother, of a friend, and an overwhelming fear that connected it all together. All these emotions and more flooded in. All of them were near the point of insanity, if even just for a short time. The mind had its limits, and they were near theirs. At first they resisted him, but it was so easy to let go of pain when another was willing to take it from you. Eventually they stopped trying. It was immense but somehow bearable, as if this was something he was born to do.
Arkin had said that Venefica had specialties that showed themselves when they hit a class four or five. One was that of healing. Being able to take another’s pain was a gift of the healer. The magic allowed them to take on pain and suffering without destroying themselves. Still, taking this on and still shielding his sanity strained his magic. Eventually the pain would crush the Venefica and they would let go.
Legon didn’t want to be protected by the magic. He wanted to feel it, wanted to know the damage it caused. He let the walls down, letting it flood over him. He felt scared. It was too much. This was stupid. Why did this have to happen? Why did there have to be so much suffering in this life? Was that all life was?
His body was shaking with sobs of fear and pain of all kinds. He had opened the link with the others too far. He’d been warned of this; he could lose his mind.
Darkness shrouded him as all light turned to dark and the litany rang in his head, for it was a litany he realized; it was more than a script that one recited. It was truth and hope.
Fear is the blinder. I am the light and master of sight. I will master my fear and never again see night. I will become the dark and the light, my fear will pass through me, and I will stand alone in the light.
He repeated it again and again in his mind. It was fear that he faced. He saw that now, but to face fear he must leave the light. He let the darkness of pain and thought flow through him, letting it saturate his mind and body. Leaving the others behind, going on a journey that no one else could take with or for him, he was the darkness. He wanted to die but the litany brought him back. He saw a pinprick of light. It expanded and he felt heat from it. Soon the dark was light. The fear was gone but the pain remained as it should, as a reminder. No longer would he be afraid of it. Pain was part of life. Without it there could be no happiness. With this realization he found peace. He would not feel pain and sorrow to the point of no return; it could only destroy him if he permitted it.
* * * * *
Sara felt her body relax as her burdens of the last day left her. This time the void they left was not replaced with love and kindness like before. She would have to fill the void on her own. The pain in her arm left her and she had a feeling of euphoria. It was difficult to feel distressed because when she did, it left her and went to Legon. She did not want to increase his suffering, so she focused instead on the present and the break that she was receiving from her pain. She was grateful for what she had been given. She had experienced many trials, but she’d been given a lot too.
She didn’t notice time go by as she knelt next to her Everser Vald. She looked at her situation with a new perspective, one that was not filled with doubt and hopelessness. Gradually the pain in her arm returned, along with all of the rest of it. But now from her reprieve she knew what she was to replace the suffering with. She still felt stress and anxiety, but now she tried to see the two perspectives separately. Adding them together, she came up with a new one, one that was her choice, one that didn’t discount the bad but