Ella’s eyes and there was a burn in her gut. No, she couldn’t do it.
‘If a man deceives me once, shame on him. If he deceives me twice, shame on me.’
She said the old Italian proverb that Santo must know off by heart, for it had been surely cussed to him many times. On this occasion he did not correct her Italian, and Ella spoke on. ‘You know, everything I love about you is the part I hate too.’
He frowned.
‘I’m not going to forgive you.’ It was who she was. ‘I know that sounds really unsophisticated, but maybe that’s who I am. I can’t forgive....’ She closed her eyes, because she had withdrawn so rapidly that she had practically hand-passed him to someone else. ‘I never expected you to take this as seriously as me.’
‘Oh, I take this very seriously.’
‘I know about Marianna.’
‘Marianna?’ Santo frowned. ‘Marianna’s gone.’
‘Of course she is, because she slept with you.’ He had to see her point. ‘That’s why I can’t mix the two.’
‘Ella, I think it is crazy that we do not sleep together. It has been driving me crazy, but I respect it. But Marianna...’ He shook his head. ‘Do you really think I took it all so lightly?’ His hands moved in exasperation. ‘I had to fire her, she came on to me.’ He looked at her nonplussed face. ‘I came out of the shower and...’ He gave a tight shrug. ‘You do not need detail but there was champagne and too much lace and suggestion...’ He gave her the smile that melted, the smile that could well shoot her straight back to his bed. ‘Nothing happened—we did not even kiss.’ He gave a small yikes look. ‘I fear I have lost my prowess unless she comes with much baggage and is more focused on camera angles than me.’
‘You didn’t sleep with Marianna....’
‘I told you not.’ Santo never lied. Ella realised it then. Never once did he try to cover up his mistakes. ‘She tried, but I could not even be bothered to. Not even a stirring...’ He actually seemed to think about it for a moment. ‘Maybe a teeny one...’ He held his thumb and forefinger up. He was just so honest Ella actually smiled and that was all it took for him to move straight in for the kill. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’ He pulled her into him, buried his head in her hair. ‘I want you so much.’
‘Santo—’ she struggled ‘—you can’t just disappear and then come back as if nothing’s happened.’
‘I can...’ He was at her top, undoing the straps, just so impatient. ‘You’ll forgive me soon, but first I have to have you.’
‘No.’
‘I have to...’ he moaned. He was peeling off her top now. ‘Ella, please, it’s been too long.’
‘Where the hell have you been?’ She looked at his battered face. ‘Santo?’
‘You don’t need to know now.’
‘I do,’ Ella begged. ‘I need to know what’s been going on. I’m sorry I shut you out. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you while you’ve been having problems. I was so locked into me, into looking out for me, that I forgot all you’re going through.’
‘And...’ Santo pushed her to go on, unhooking her bra as he did so and burying his face in her breasts.
‘I was wrong,’ Ella admitted.
‘Why?’
He sucked her nipple. ‘Why?’ he growled.
‘Because...’ she flailed.
‘Because I need you to be there for me,’ Santo said. He took down her skirt and pushed her onto the bed and then undressed himself with Santo haste. ‘The same way I need to be there for you.’
‘Where have you been, Santo?’
He was kissing her all over and then he paused.
‘Can I tell you after?’
She lay there squirming and not just with indecision.
‘Do you really have to know now?’
And she looked up at him, looked at the want and the passion that needed matching, not questions and answers.
‘No.’
‘Say it again.’
‘No.’
‘No what?’
‘No, right now I don’t need to know where you’ve been.’
‘Because?’ He parted her legs, and she lay there naked and beneath him. And just like their first time it was Santo completely in control. He dragged out of her the truth, her answer, one she didn’t know till now. ‘Are you turning a blind eye, Ella?’ Santo asked.
‘No.’
‘Which means?’
Yes, what did it mean? Ella asked herself. If she didn’t need to know where he’d been, if she didn’t require immediate explanation... ‘That I trust you.’
And surely he should reward her with his naked length, but he was a bastard, a