him. Time and again, she gave the matter to God only to pull it back. Maybe she and Morgan were too much alike.
During this time, Reverend Rainer wrote a doctor in Dallas, requesting a visit to examine Sarah, but it would be weeks before the man could leave his practice. In the meantime, the local doctor prescribed laudanum to ease her pain.
True to Sarah’s initial accounting, Casey cared for Sarah as if she were a child. She bathed her, dressed her, combed her hair, and rocked her when the pain seemed unbearable. Some days, Sarah cried for her husband, who watched her suffer helplessly. In those moments Casey wept with her. She saw a steadfast love and commitment in the couple soaring beyond her own comprehension of what true love meant between a man and a woman.
At times, the couple lovingly teased each other and acted as though the illness didn’t exist. But when the two separated, telltale agony clouded their eyes. Casey questioned the fairness of God in allowing two good people who loved and honored Him to experience such anguish.
“Reverend Rainer, why does God permit Sarah to hurt so?” she said one evening at supper. The day had proved exhausting for all of them, especially Sarah, who had sunk her teeth into her lower lip until it bled to keep from crying out.
“He doesn’t want any of us to suffer.” The reverend pushed aside his full plate. “This present life is difficult to understand, and surely none of us know the mind of God. He permits adversity for a reason, and God will use this for good.” He sighed. “Sarah’s illness seems so wrong, but her pain does bring blessings to others. Think about all the ladies who visit and bring gifts. If she were well, they would be denied the joy of giving. They share from their hearts, and God honors their love. Sarah prays with each one and allows them the opportunity to voice their own trials and prayer requests. God is using her to reach and teach others.”
Casey chose not to respond until she carefully weighed the reverend’s words. “Are you saying Sarah should be happy with her illness?”
“Not happy, but her heart is filled with the joy of the Lord. And folks remember the good she did for them. I need strength from God to keep me from becoming bitter and angry. I want my wife to be the woman of her youth, but God has a different plan—and it’s a struggle.”
“Surely not you?”
“I’m a man who loves his wife and isn’t ready for her to be taken from him. But in all of my soul-searching and in all of my Scripture reading, I’m certain of one thing: I must accept God’s will for her life and mine.” He smiled. “This is probably none of my concern, but I’m going to say it anyway. Don’t give up on Morgan. He has a posse of devils chasing him every minute of the day.”
She blinked. “He won’t tell me what happened.”
“Patience, dear. Have patience. I know you care for him as surely as I see he cares for you.”
“Are you asking me to give him another chance? Reverend, some of the things he says are hurtful.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s been where no man should ever walk. Much like you, I imagine.”
*****
On October 1, the Rainers’ daughter and son-in-law arrived with their family for a month-long visit. The daughter wanted to tend to her mother. She didn’t resent Casey’s nursing, but she realized her mother’s days were limited.
“Come stay with us,” Jocelyn said to Casey. “Morgan can move into the cabin or bunkhouse, and you can have his room.”
Casey hesitated. She still hadn’t told them the truth. “I don’t feel comfortable chasing Morgan out of his bed.”
“Nonsense,” Jocelyn said. “He’ll be delighted that you’re here.” In the end, Jocelyn won out. She and Bonnie wasted no time in visiting the parsonage and whisking Casey away to the Double H for the month. If the reverend felt it was important for her not to give up on Morgan, then she needed to honor his request. A month at the ranch would give them an opportunity to talk—really talk.
As soon as Jocelyn and Bonnie helped her settle into the assigned bedroom, Casey took a glimpse out of the window. Strange, being in Morgan’s room. How did he feel about it?
“Grant and Morgan are busy branding cattle,” Bonnie said, as though reading her thoughts.