her attention to the lights of the bunkhouse. Not that she cared at all about what went on out there.
“I sense the cool night air is getting to you,” he said much too cheerfully.
“Not the air. Just you.”
He rubbed his palms over his jeans and stood from the porch step. Without a glance in her direction, he walked toward the corral, where the faint light of dusk cast a golden shadow on a single horse.
“I’m sorry.” How could she be so cruel? When he failed to reply, she ran after him. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
His eyes stayed fixed on the horse grazing nearby. “What did you mean?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The waiting to hear from President Arthur. Not having any money to give Jocelyn for living here. Tim . . . Jenkins.” She dared not say more.
“I want to hear the rest of it.” In the fading light, Morgan turned to face her. He didn’t appear angry, but she recalled the same tone from the time he questioned her in the mountains of Utah.
She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I want to get married.”
“Why? Have you decided you don’t love me?” His words were laced with hurt.
“You’re not being fair.”
“I’m not? You tell me you love me, but you don’t want to marry me? I want the truth.”
“I do love you, Morgan. I’m scared.”
“Of what? I thought we were going to see this pardon through together.”
I’m not afraid of not getting the pardon as much as I am of living the rest of my life with a man who might turn on me.
Silence echoed around them. The horse walked to the edge of the corral where they stood, and Morgan reached to stroke the animal’s head. Several long moments passed.
“You know, Casey,” he said without looking her way, “the ranch hands said this mare couldn’t be broken. They claimed she was too wild, even loco. Jesse told me the horse ought to be shot. He gave up on her. Then one day, Grant decided he’d break her. He worked long and hard, gentle-like, until the horse felt confident of his voice and touch. She’s now tame enough for children, but the ranch hands still won’t ride her. They’re afraid. Can’t see past the mare’s old ways.”
A chill snaked up her spine. Tears stung her eyes, and she touched Morgan’s shoulder. “Can I have a little more time until we hear from the president?”
He blew out a sigh. “All right. I’ll not mention another word of marriage till the pardon arrives. And I’ll not be coming out to the ranch, either. You can have all the time you need to think about us. I love you, Casey. Nothing will ever change that, but I’m a man, and my pride won’t let me beg.”
He turned and walked into the house. She felt numb and miserable. An emptiness settled in the pit of her stomach. A short while later he rode off toward town.
What have I done? I love him so much, and now I’ve hurt him. Maybe lost him.
No one pressed Casey and Morgan about the problems between them, but she saw the dejection and worry in the whole family. Her restlessness coupled with unhappiness caused her to stay to herself. Day after day she searched the Scriptures for God’s answer to her quandary. She hated herself. She was fickle. Whatever happened to the godly woman she craved to be? Sarah would be so disappointed.
*****
Morgan attempted to focus his attention on drawing up a land sale for a nearby rancher, but he couldn’t concentrate. Frustrated, all he could think about was Casey. Her words and actions made no sense to him. He wanted to understand. He really did.
Shaking his head, he tried reading the document before him again. The door opened, and his mother stepped into the office. He stood and embraced her.
“Afternoon, Mama. What brings you into town?”
“I stopped in to see the reverend and you.”
“Thanks. How’s everything at the ranch?”
She nodded. “Busy. Do you have a few minutes for me?”
“Sure. Sit down. Is something wrong?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
He raised a brow and waited for her to continue.
“I want to talk to you about Casey.”
“We’re not seeing each other right now.”
“I don’t need a lawyer to tell me that.” Her eyes narrowed.
“Mama.” Morgan startled at her sharp tone.
She moistened her lips and removed her bonnet. “I think I should explain something to you.”