Learning to Trust - M.A. Innes Page 0,36

was talking about until we discussed it. I think this is the same thing. You’re doing all the Daddy things that Morgan probably wants in a Daddy, but you’re just not seeing it.”

Staying silent for a few moments, I tried to think about what he was saying. “I was right that we weren’t dating, so I don’t know why this isn’t the same thing.”

Destin sighed. “You like taking care of people, right? You’re a bit overbearing about it sometimes, but you like being in charge.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t make me some kind of a dominant.” His snort made me want to say something rude, but I held myself back.

“I think you have more of a problem with that word then you do about being his Daddy.” Destin continued before I could argue about that. “Being in a dominant role with him doesn’t mean anything bad or even sexual. It can just mean that you’re helping each other fulfill needs.”

“He needs someone to watch over him.” I wasn’t sure what had gone wrong with his last roommate, but the only issues I saw were his lack of organization and his need to play more than work. So whatever the last guy did, he must’ve been a dick.

“And you need someone to take care of.” Destin stretched his foot out and poked my thigh. “This is probably good for both of you, and you already know it doesn’t have to be sexual.”

“Why do you keep pointing that out? I already know that.” The dog needed to go ahead and bury his bone and find something else to focus on.

“Because most guys would worry about that first.” His answer was slightly sarcastic, but judging from the behavior of the guys in our old dorm, he might’ve had a point.

“I don’t have an issue with him being gay and I don’t have an issue with nonsexual intimacy. I might not be the warmest individual, but I’m not cold.” When he sighed again like I was missing something, I shifted to focus on him. “What?”

“Your lack of self-awareness is startling sometimes. But I love you anyway.” I couldn’t decide what he was trying to say, so I just waited. It didn’t take long before he continued. “Most straight guys would at least worry about Morgan getting attached to them or what might happen. It’s more than just the fact that you don’t have an issue with him being gay.”

I shrugged. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about. But honestly, dating in general and everything that goes with it isn’t something I focus on.”

“Can I ask what you think that means or would that fall into the not something we’re going to talk about category?” The fact that he was being so polite was more stressful than the answer to his question.

“According to the internet educational gurus, I’m probably asexual or something like that. I don’t know yet, and it’s honestly not something I’m worried about at the moment.” I had no desire to grow up and be the guy version of the crazy cat lady, but I had enough on my plate that dating wasn’t something I was going to focus on.

He nodded slowly. “And you’re not struggling with that or…I mean, sexuality is hard for people and—”

“No, I’m fine. I’ve heard you ramble on about sexuality and BDSM topics and all kinds of things for almost two years. I actually listened to some of it, and while I’m really not worried about sleeping with anyone at the moment, I will keep things in mind.” Destin opened his mouth, making me realize we were nowhere near done.

“Why do you think you might be asexual? I was leaning more toward pan with a very specific type of person you're attracted to or maybe demi.” He was looking at me like he expected a response or shock, but I couldn’t remember what either of those meant.

Taking a moment, I tried to recall what he’d said about those during his what do you mean there’s more than just straight and gay sexuality phase.

“Pan…that was the one where someone likes everyone or something about not focusing on gender?” I remembered thinking that one sounded like he was making a stir-fry.

“Kind of.” He stretched his legs out again and relaxed. “I’m probably oversimplifying this, but demi basically means that you have to form an emotional attachment or some kind of bond with a person before you really see them sexually.”

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.” I still wasn’t terribly