time, daughter. Your chance to speak … take courage, and be strong. Don’t be afraid.
Yes, God … I hear You.
Bailey had never been more afraid in all her life. No matter what happened before, regardless of the consequences, she still wasn’t convinced. Did she really have the strength to speak up for God here? Among the dancers and actors who made up the Hairspray cast?
A verse from Deuteronomy 20:1 played over and over in her mind. When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and armies bigger than yours do not be afraid. For the Lord your God who brought you up out of Egypt will be with you.
God would be with her … whatever He was calling her to do He would stand beside her and give her the words. Even here when she felt absolutely incapable of making a difference. She’d been quiet with Chrissy — when speaking up might’ve mattered. When she’d finally prayed very publicly for Chrissy after her collapse, Chrissy had died. What reason would her castmates have for believing in God now?
When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and armies bigger than yours …
Bailey’s mouth was so dry she could barely swallow. Francesca was on the stage, looking at them, sizing up the emotion in the room. It was the first time Bailey could remember that the woman had nothing snide to say, nothing sarcastic. She was as broken as everyone else. “Several of you shared wonderful memories, beautiful sentiments about our friend Chrissy Stonelake.” She folded her hands. “We have time for a few more.”
Gerald went next. He talked about how Chrissy had understood him and encouraged him to perform. “My family doesn’t want me here … same as hers.” He hung his head for a moment. “But Chrissy … she believed in me. She was an encourager.” A sad smile brightened his face. “She told me I couldn’t quit performing or she’d hunt me down.” His smile fell, as if he was realizing again that Chrissy was gone. She would never again encourage him to stay on stage, using his talents.
When Gerald finished, a silence filled the theater. Go, daughter … you know what to say … I am with you.
Father, I’m afraid …
I am with you …
What if they don’t listen … what if they laugh … Bailey’s heart pounded so hard she could hear it above the sound of her shallow breathing. She grabbed a water bottle from her purse and drank down half of it. I don’t know if I can do this, Lord …
You can do all things through me … because I give you strength, daughter.
It was those words that finally pushed Bailey up and out of her seat. The words on the promise ring she’d given Cody Coleman before he headed off to war. If Cody could lean on that Bible verse as he left for Iraq, she could let them hold her up as she took the stage now, in front of her peers. She swallowed, gripping her Bible and searching for her voice as she moved slowly up the steps and turned to face them. Nothing gave her the right to be here. She had already failed God’s assignment where Chrissy was concerned.
But just as she was about to turn back, run down the stairs and out the building away from their looks and quiet whispers, she remembered the Deuteronomy verse. When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and armies bigger than yours … It was the perfect description of this moment. These people didn’t like her, they didn’t like her God or her background or her lack of experience. But there was a truth that mattered more than any of that. God was with her.
Bailey stood a little straighter and looked at her castmates, really looked at them. Past the walls of indifference and arrogance and humanism. Deep inside where it mattered, where they were all hurting as much as she was. They had failed Chrissy, same as her, and they needed hope. They all did. The sort of hope only Christ could offer. She breathed in slowly and asked God for the right words, the right tone.
“In the days before Chrissy died … I knew she wasn’t okay.” Bailey worked to speak despite her dry throat. “I saw the pills … I noticed how thin she’d become. And I heard God … ask me to