trying to pluck up the nerve for something.
“What?” I prompted.
“Daveon and I have been talking about meeting up…” He bit his lip. “Do you love me enough to drive me to Alabama?”
There was a prolonged pause. I felt Maritza shoot me a look, but I ignored her, staring straight at JaKory.
“Are you serious?” I asked warily.
“Not tonight, obviously,” JaKory said hastily. “We were thinking two weekends from now, on Saturday the twenty-third. His parents are going on a church retreat, so we’d have the house to ourselves.” He paused, his eyes flitting between us. “Please?”
“You’re gonna go spend the whole day with a stranger?” Maritza asked. “In Alabama?”
“He’s not a stranger—”
“You’ve never met him before. You have no proof that he is who he says he is. Or that the connection between you is actually real.”
“That’s why I need y’all to come with me, just in case. You won’t have dance that day, and Codi, I was hoping you could ask off from the store—you’ve worked so much this summer, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. I know it’s a lot to ask, but this might be my only shot.” He clasped his hands together, his eyes pleading. “Come on. Don’t you want this to work? Aren’t you happy for me?”
Neither Maritza nor I answered. Silence swelled around us, heavy on the air.
“Wow, okay,” JaKory said, his tone deadly quiet. “So, let me spell this out … I’m in love with a great guy, but my two best friends don’t give a shit?”
“It’s not real, JaKory!” Maritza said.
“IT IS REAL!” he bellowed. “My feelings are real! God, I’m so tired of you two not listening to me, thinking I’m such a joke all the time!” He rounded on Maritza, his eyes popping. “Is this because it didn’t work out with Rona? Is it, like, a jealousy thing? You wanted so badly for things to be different, for us to have romantic prospects, but only if you got to lead the way, right? And fuck it all if I’m the only one who got anywhere?”
“What? No—”
“And you, Codi, what’s your deal? You’ve been completely absent all summer, working a million hours at that stupid store and barely spending any time with us—”
“I’ve spent time with you!” I said hotly, even though I knew it was hardly true.
“Bullshit. You’re not around, Codi. And when you are, it’s like you’re only half there, just watching without actually participating—”
“I am participating!”
“No, you’re not! And I’ll bet that’s why you’re pissed, right, because I have someone, and Maritza kissed someone, and you’re just slogging away at that stupid store, afraid to put yourself out there and try something new—”
I stood up in a fierce rush, my anger swelling like a tidal wave. “I am trying new things,” I snarled, glaring between the two of them. “Maybe I just haven’t felt like sharing with you guys. And it’s because of this! Because you—you—” I thought wildly of Ricky’s pointed words, his accusations—“You box me in! You don’t let me breathe! You can’t even fathom the idea that I’d want to try something without you! Well, news flash, I’m not some loser you need to drag behind you like some ball and fucking chain. I’ve done plenty of stuff without you this summer, and you know what, I haven’t missed you at all—”
“What are you talking about?!” JaKory said, springing off his chair.
“I’m talking about outgrowing you! I’m talking about not liking who I am with you! You act like I’m the same exact person I was when we were eleven, but guess what, I’m not! And I’m fucking tired of it!”
The deck door swung open. My parents stood motionless on the threshold, staring between us.
“What’s going on?” my mom asked in a scandalized voice.
The three of us stood facing off, breathing fast, unable to hide our anger. I cleared my throat and stared at a spot above my parents.
“What’s going on is that I want Maritza and JaKory to leave,” I said, struggling to maintain my composure.
“What?” my mom said, as if I had just asked for the moon. “What happened?”
None of us answered. The moment stretched on, heavy and tense and irretrievable.
“Fine,” JaKory said finally. “Come on, Maritza, you’re taking me home.”
“JaKory—” she said.
“Don’t,” he said, holding up a hand. “Just drive me home, and then none of us have to talk to each other anymore.”
Maritza hesitated, but she followed JaKory off the deck and past my bewildered parents. JaKory didn’t spare me another glance, but