The Last Eligible Bachelor - Ashtyn Newbold Page 0,75

I would have abandoned it in an instant. But instead, my livelihood and my family depended on a different answer.

“No,” I said in a whisper. I cleared my throat, looking down at the table. “I am still quite determined.”

I counted to five in my mind before looking up. My intention was to hold my head with confidence, but the moment I saw Mr. Hill’s expression, all my confidence fled. He looked…disappointed.

“That is a shame.” He gave me a soft smile before standing, taking his book with him as he moved toward the door. I stared straight ahead, listening to his retreating footfalls and watching his empty chair.

My heart lurched, begging me to tell him my secret—to explain that my circumstances were the only thing denying my wishes. And just because I could not have him didn’t mean I didn’t want him.

Instead, I made my way to my hidden place by the window.

Chapter 22

My habit of arising before the sun had persisted through my entire stay at Winslow House, so when Mrs. Ollerton planned a bit of bird watching for the next morning, it wasn’t out of the ordinary for me to be awake at such an hour. The other ladies, after offering a few complaints, had agreed to join us. Nervousness twisted in my stomach, but I pushed it away. I couldn’t be afraid to face Mr. Hill. I still had a week remaining at Winslow House.

When I reached the drawing room, he was already there, trapped between Miss Taplow and Miss Downsfield, who seemed to be taking advantage of my absence as they likely had been all week. It seemed they still hoped he would choose one of them instead. Would they have been so eager to be near him if they knew what I knew? The story he had told me of his brother had refused to leave my mind. He had been hiding something too. Would he understand if I told him what I had been hiding? Would he keep my secret?

I looked down at my hands, realizing that I had forgotten my gloves. Drat. My mind had been quite scattered of late. The room was filled with candlelight, and I was reminded once again of the night Mr. Hill and I had hidden behind the sofa. My gaze took in his blue waistcoat and dark top hat, the polite way he smiled down at the ladies. If he truly had reconsidered his choice not to marry, perhaps he would choose one of the other ladies by the end of the week. I ignored the rush of envy to my heart, focusing instead on the other four guests. If I were to choose just one of them to marry him, it would have to be Miss Coppins. She would entertain him far more than even I did, and overall, she still seemed to have the kindest disposition.

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed Mrs. Ollerton enter the room. She wore a headdress covered in feathers for the occasion, a gleam of excitement in her eyes.

When the group was all gathered, we headed outside into the crisp morning air. I stayed close by Mrs. Ollerton’s side, who led the group across the property. Just enough light seeped through the sky to illuminate our path, though it was still too dim to see far into the distance.

“This excursion was inspired by a song I heard from my window just yesterday,” Mrs. Ollerton called over her shoulder. “I do not usually arise so early, but I was having difficulty sleeping that day.” She continued on describing the events of that morning for several minutes as we walked through the gardens toward the trees, where most of the birdsong came from. I had learned that birds liked sitting high in the trees when they sang, as if they knew their voices would reach the farthest from there.

“So,” Mrs. Ollerton continued, “Our objective today is to find the bird, or species of bird, whose song I heard. I should dearly like to hear it again. Stay close, but we may all spread out throughout the trees in search of it.”

“Shall we make it a competition?” Miss Benham asked.

Mrs. Ollerton raised one eyebrow. “Of what sort?”

Miss Benham’s smile grew, her eyes slightly less vibrant than usual, as if she were still half asleep. She yawned, covering her mouth with one gloved hand. “Perhaps the first lady to discover your favorite bird…will win an outing with Mr. Hill.” She smiled coyly, glancing his way.