The Last Eligible Bachelor - Ashtyn Newbold Page 0,74

willing my heart to slow. It didn’t matter. Even if it were true, it didn’t change the fact that I had to keep denying him what he wanted. Even if what he wanted was me.

My stomach tugged at the idea; a surge of longing filled my heart. I searched for a distraction, my thoughts traveling back to one of our previous conversations.

“You said your parents denied you your dearest wish,” I said in a careful voice. “And that is why you defy their wishes to see you married. What was it they denied you?” I had lacked the confidence to ask him before, but now I needed to know. I held my breath as he studied my face.

“Are you demanding the truth from me now?” he asked.

Relief bounded through my chest at the light tone in his voice. I was much more comfortable with this. “We may call it an exchange.”

He drew a deep breath before exhaling, long and slow. “It is not a pleasant story. And you might think badly of me when you hear it.”

“Everybody has such stories to tell.” I wrung my hands together. I had my fair share.

He shifted in his chair, the discomfort obvious in his features. “It will help you understand more fully why I cannot offer my hand to any of the ladies here, and why I never intended to raise their hopes.” He paused, as if collecting his thoughts. His eyes met mine. “I am not inheriting Hill Manor.”

Shock collided with my chest. “You were disinherited?”

He shook his head. “It is far more complicated than that.”

I waited, watching the signs of unrest in his expression with growing dismay.

“I have an older brother, one who only recently returned home from Spain. My parents haven’t yet announced his return, and have been keeping the secret since just weeks before my invitation came from Winslow House.” He glanced up at my face, tracing his finger over the table as he spoke. “All my life I was raised to believe I would not inherit my childhood home. It was the reality I was resigned to, and I tried not to envy my brother his prize. He never loved the home like I did. He never even wanted it. He lived in a manner that disappointed my parents greatly. He was frivolous and daft, choosing to leave it all behind for a life in another country, as far away from his family and their upbringing as he could manage to live. His abandonment was a devastation and a disgrace, and so my father was able to disinherit him and leave the house to me. My belief, and the belief of everyone in town for the last five years has been that I would inherit Hill Manor.” He followed the lines his fingers had drawn on the table, silent for a long moment.

“What happened?”

“My brother returned, penniless and rueful, begging for all that he had left behind. Trust, love, respect…and Hill Manor. His wishes were granted without hesitation, and after all I had done to maintain my parents’ trust and respect, learning to manage the household and the farms, I was left without it.”

My jaw fell open, and I touched a hand to my chest. “You were left with nothing?”

“A small property in Sussex as consolation. It has not been occupied for years, and for good reason.” He gave a small smile. “And so, when I leave Winslow House, I will travel there to make my best attempt at reviving it.” He met my gaze. “I am not the prize Mrs. Ollerton believes me to be. In fact, there is little to prize in my character as well. My ambitions of vexing my parents by remaining a bachelor for all of my days, of disappointing them as they did me…” He shook his head, his smile resurfacing. “It sounds worse when I say it aloud. There is no reward, is there? It will not bring me Hill Manor. All it will bring is loneliness and regret.”

My heart pounded at his words, at the way he looked at me when he spoke them—as if he intended to have no regrets at all, especially when it pertained to me.

“And you, Miss Sedgwick?” His eyes searched my face. “Have you reconsidered the worth of your defiance toward your own parents?” Although his voice was light, he spoke with genuine curiosity.

If the story I had told him before had been true—that I was simply defying my parents wishes to have me married—then