the institution of marriage itself, was frustrating, to say the least.
“Why not?” he demanded. Moving to sit beside her on the opposite bench, he took her hand in his. “What’s so bad about the idea of marriage to me?”
She frowned down at their joined hands, but when she looked up, she must have seen the intensity in his gaze because her eyes softened. “It’s not you, Andrew. I care for you. I truly do.”
“Then why not?” he asked again. “We make a good team, wouldn’t you say?”
Katherine lifted a hand to touch his cheek. “We do, but I’ve told you how unhappy I was in my marriage. I could never place myself under the yoke of that institution again. For one thing, everything I own would become yours. You would own The Gazette. You could decide to turn it into an entirely different sort of publication, and I would have no say in it.”
“I would never do that.” He was insulted she’d even suggest it. Did she really think so little of him?
“You say that now.” She pulled her hand away. “But what if The Gazette somehow interfered with your job? Or your superiors pressured you to take over because they didn’t like what the paper had been printing about them? Is that so very different than the Home Office pressuring Darrow to find someone to arrest?”
“I know what the damn law says, Katherine.” Andrew thrust a hand into his hair in agitation. “I know that it’s weighted heavily in favor of the husband when it comes to all manner of things in this country. But you must know that I would never behave in the way you’re describing. For one thing, I don’t know the first thing about the newspaper business and wouldn’t be so foolish as to tell you how to run The Gazette. And I don’t want your money either. How can you even think it?”
“I don’t believe you want it now.” She shrugged. “But the very fact that you could take it is enough to make me hesitate. I have known both freedom and the lack of it. And I would prefer to not give it up.”
He had known she had very strong views of marriage. Though they hadn’t discussed it, he understood that her first marriage had given her good reason to fear the institution. But somehow he’d assumed that if she loved him enough, she would reconsider.
“What if you are with child?” It had been a possibility that had weighed on him since their night together. He’d assumed that if there were consequences, she would tell him and they’d marry. Now it would appear that she might not do so. “Would you allow our child to grow up as the Philbrick twins did? Believing she’s the consequence of sin?”
“It won’t be an issue.” She waved her hand. “I never conceived during my marriage. It’s unlikely that I will now.”
“But you know of no medical reason why you could not?” he pressed.
She colored. “No, I don’t. And I give you my word that if a miracle occurs, I will inform you. And will reconsider my notions on marriage. I wouldn’t let my child grow up to endure that sort of stigma. Though neither would I let them anywhere near a church like Hale’s, where they might hear such filth.”
That was a relief at least. “Thank you.”
“I’m not saying this to hurt you,” she said quietly. “I do genuinely care for you. But I won’t give up my freedom. Not even for you.”
“Even if I love you?”
Katherine gasped. She turned to look at him, her gray eyes intent as she tried to determine the veracity of his words. “Do you?”
A few hours ago, he might have given her a different answer. But her outright rejection of the very idea of marrying him had made him realize that his feelings for her—which he’d known included admiration and genuine liking—were far more serious than he’d acknowledged.
He was in love with her.
“I do,” he said, reaching out to touch her face.
Her eyes welled. “I love you, too.”
Unable to stop himself, he pulled her to him and kissed her with all the sweet intensity of a man who loved and was loved in return.
Chapter Twenty-Two
They spent the rest of the train ride back to Lewiston in an uneasy silence.
Kate, whose head had begun to ache, pretended to sleep.
She knew her refusal to marry didn’t make sense to Eversham. He was an honorable man and didn’t understand why she would deny