right where you want to be to comfort her. Things’ll warm right back up.”
“He’s not that callous, or shallow,” Meghan said.
“Oh please. He’s a man, I’m a man. I know how men think. A woman who tempts and teases him every chance she gets, so she can try to kill him, but now—thanks to you—he knows she doesn’t really want to kill him, and is actually attracted to him? That’s the hottest of the hot! Irresistible! He’ll be so stoked to have her, it’ll be like nuclear fucking fusion!”
“Stop it,” Meghan said. “If he takes the knife away, she won’t go through with it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“You forget I’m in her head. I know exactly how she visualizes it—she’ll feel for the knife as soon as she gets into the bed, but won’t use it until the right moment. Mabel has convinced her not to bring out the knife until the moment of his climax, because a man is lost just then, he’s at his weakest, most helpless.”
“Petit mort, the little death,” Derek said. “To be followed this time by the big death.”
“No no no,” she protested. “There won’t be any death. Thomas, I’m warning you. You’ve got the facts now, the full information. Do not do it!”
“You’re too late. You said yourself he’s falling for her,” Derek replied. “Has he tried to kiss her already?”
“Yes,” she admitted.
“There you go, then.”
“It was as a way of thanking me. He wanted to kiss me.”
“He wanted to kiss you?”
“Out of gratitude. For helping with his daughter. He asked Sylvanne if he could embrace her, and kiss her, so that I could feel it.”
“And did you?”
“Well, he held her head in his hands, and it was three light pecks, really. Here, here, and here.” She touched her two cheeks and forehead. “Then she took his hand, and kissed his fingers. He pulled back as if she’d held them to the flame.”
“But his kisses—did you feel them?”
“I think so.”
“So what did it feel like, to be kissed by someone, when you’re inside someone else’s head?”
“It felt real. That’s all I can say. It was as real as any kiss I’ve ever had. When he looked into her eyes I felt like he was looking straight into my eyes. Her eyes were the window to my soul, if that’s not too weird.”
“I think you have a crush,” Derek said.
“Don’t say it like that,” she reproached him.
“I can’t believe women sometimes,” Derek laughed. “Here you are with the hots for the guy, and if he makes love to this woman you’ll feel it, and you’re telling him don’t go for it.”
“I’m telling him to be kind to her, and not to get himself killed.”
“Sylvanne’s doing everything short of a striptease to get the guy between the sheets,” Derek asserted. “Let the dude have his fun, let him express his love to you, and who knows? Nothing’s written in stone. Sylvanne might come around. She sounds like she’s on the verge of coming around.”
“I just want him to be careful,” Meghan said softly. She had the sudden sensation of longing stirring inside her, like a tendril of new life erupting from an ancient seed. She wanted to nurture and encourage this feeling, to bring it to the light and examine it, but not here, standing before Derek in his shabby living room. “I really have to go.”
“Keep me posted,” Derek said.
“It’s not a joke,” she said. “It’s real.”
“Then I should be jealous of you, and of Thomas. You get to experience reality, I only hear about it second hand.”
“I know. Sorry. I always leave here apologizing to you.”
“Don’t be sorry for hogging the reality, I have enough of my own, thank you. You’re the one with too much.”
33
Mabel was crossing the yard, escorted by a guardsman as usual to collect the supper, when she chanced upon Lord Thomas, who was tutoring three young pages in the martial techniques of the broadsword. He greeted her warmly as she was led by, and she asked if she might have a few moments of his time, to speak to him on a matter of great import. Thomas handed his sword to her startled guardsman, and bade him take charge of the lesson, while he led Mabel to a quiet room in the armoury, where weapons of all sorts were stacked against the walls. “Now my dear, what so heavily weighs upon your mind?” he asked her.
“Master, I must warn you, in confidence,” Mabel told him solemnly, “that despite