She couldn’t. When he grew tired of her, he’d take her heart and flail it with his tongue. The pride, the arrogance, his presence here, was all about winning. He just wanted his own way.
In the end, neither of them would be happy.
No matter the pain in her heart, the longing to give in, she shook her head, knowing she was right. ‘You don’t have any idea about love. You said so yourself.’ She took a deep breath, knowing what she would say next would sever the tie between them forever. ‘And besides, it is not necessary—I am not carrying your child.’
If she had known better, she would have thought the fleeting expression on his face was disappointment. As it was, she could only assume it was chagrin at being forced to bend his knee, tell her what he thought she wanted to hear, only to be refused.
‘Not with child,’ he said slowly. His eyes were unfathomable, his expression carefully blank.
Though he showed no emotion, she was sure he must be pleased at the reprieve. ‘No. So there is no need for your sacrifice.’
His eyes blazed. ‘Damnation, Rosabella, it was not and is not a sacrifice.’
‘When you never wanted to be married in the first place?’
‘I’ve changed my mind. Didn’t you hear me say I love you?’ He held out his hand to her. ‘I ruined you. You have to marry me. I’m not entirely devoid of honour.’ He smiled at her, encouraging her to relent.
Honour. The real reason for this display. His honour was at stake. His declaration of love was nothing but words.
‘You don’t believe in love.’
‘I’m pretty sure I love my brother.’ He looked as if he’d said something painful.
‘But not your mother or your father.’
‘No.’
‘It is your duty to love them.’
Bleak eyes stared back at her. ‘Why, when they both wished I had never been born.’
‘Why would you say such a thing?’
His expression tightened. He shook his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts. ‘Let us just say I was not the son they wanted.’
‘No one can choose their children.’
His smile was grim. ‘So my father discovered.’
‘The way you spoke to your mother…’ Just thinking about it made her feel sick. Who was to say how long it would be before she was the target of his cruelty? Before he was throwing up the fact that she’d trapped him into a marriage he didn’t want. She’d have no defence. A man who did not love his mother had no concept of love. ‘I’m sorry, I really do not think we would suit.’
‘I care for you, Rosabella.’
He sounded so sincere, she wanted to believe him, she really did. Her whole body vibrated with the longing to go to him. But what they shared was not love. It was attraction. A physical thing. Having seen the love between her mother and father, she would not settle for less. Not when she didn’t have to. ‘Love is much bigger than a word. It is deed and thought. You destroy people with wicked words and think nothing of it. You threatened to take my child from me if I did not do as you wanted. That is not love.’
His hands opened and closed. ‘I was angry. I didn’t mean it.’
‘Love isn’t a weapon.’
He stared at her, his face draining of colour. ‘Then you will not accept my offer?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, crippled by the pain in her chest and trying not to show it.
‘I’m sorry, too.’ He closed the distance between them, took her mouth in a kiss of passion. Hard and fast and full of anger. It softened to something else: regret, loss. Or were those emotions all in her own mind?
Only by force of will could she remain stiff, unyielding, cold to his touch. And even then her heart reached out, beating hard and fast in her chest with longing. She felt herself weakening and stiffened her spine.
He pulled away, breathing hard.
She touched a finger to her lips. ‘Goodbye, Garth.’
He spun around and unlocked the door. He opened it, stood for a moment with his back to her. ‘I’m sorry.’ He strode out.
Tears running down her face, she closed the door to the sound of his running footsteps on the stairs. The pain inside her chest felt worse than anything she’d ever imagined. This time he would not come back.
They would never make a child together, or play cricket on the beach with their children. She would never marry.
She couldn’t. He would always take up too much