Lady Lilias and the Devil in Plaid - Julie Johnstone Page 0,73

Truly.” She realized in that moment how true it was. No, she had not felt protected as many girls did, but that had made her into the woman she was now. A strong one. One who would bear the ton’s scorn and fight for the man she loved. One who would carve her own path as her father had wished her to do.

Her mother pursed her lips and then said, “Be that as it may, first thing tomorrow, I’m going to secure you and Nora a companion. Your father had such a force of will, and I, well, I was no match for him. And then I was just trying to survive the financial problems and my sadness. Your father made you strong. I see that. Let me do my part to protect you.”

It seemed easier not to argue against the companion, and if she knew Mama, who had always had a horrible time making decisions, it would be a while before a companion would be secured. That was time enough to plot with Guinevere about Nash and address the problem of securing Helen’s manuscript.

“Oh!” Mama said, sifting through the papers she was holding and plucking a sealed letter out. She extended it to Lilias. “This came from Blackwood.”

Lilias quickly tore it open and read.

Dearest Lilias,

I’ve returned to Town, and I shall call on you this afternoon. I cannot wait to see you.

Yours,

Owen

Anger with Owen flared as Lilias folded the note and looked at her mother. “Blackwood is to call upon me this afternoon, and—”

A scratch at the bedchamber door interrupted Lilias. “My lady,” the butler called out, “Lord Blackwood is here to call upon Lady Lilias. Shall I see him to the drawing room?”

“Yes, do,” her mother replied. She stood and motioned for Lilias to do the same. “Go on, darling. Time to take your future into your own hands. You cannot win the man who has your heart until you break this betrothal.”

She wasn’t at all certain she could win Nash even after the betrothal was broken, but she was going to try. This was likely her last chance. He loved her. He’d practically said so. If only he’d accept that their love had the power to heal the scars on his heart, as it had done with hers.

Chapter Twelve

Truth was the only way forward. No matter how painful, it had to be truth. As she opened the parlor door, Lilias realized that as angry as she was with Owen, now that her ire was cooling a bit, she felt sorry for him. He didn’t really love her. Love was not selfish and possessive to the point of lying to keep someone with you. Owen feared being left again by someone close to him. So as she shut the door and he turned away from the window to face her and a smile lit his face, she restrained the simmering fury she felt.

“You lied to Nash,” she said softly.

His whole demeanor changed. The smile faded, his eyes grew hard, and his shoulders stiffened. She had hoped he would be remorseful, that they could somehow salvage their friendship, but he was clearly far from ready for that. It left her with the need to put distance between them, and it filled her with aching sadness.

“I have devoted my life to you,” he said. The words held an edge that she didn’t like. She took a step back. “I would do anything for you. Yes, I lied. But that’s because I love you. He’ll do nothing but hurt you.”

“You cannot keep someone with lies, Owen. You knew I loved him.” She had thought about it a lot over the last day since Guinevere’s revelation about Owen’s lie. “You knew I loved him, and you did all in your power to ensure he and I never had a chance. That is not love.”

“Isn’t it?” he snarled. “Tell me what love is, then. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Everyone I love leaves. You. My mother.”

He’d never wanted to speak of his mother before. Lilias had tried, but he’d always refused. Tears sprang to her eyes now at the hurt inside him. “I won’t abandon you, Owen, not if you don’t force me to, but the way I love you is in friendship. It’s always been friendship.”

“Why?” he demanded, his voice like thunder in the silence. “I’m better for you.”

“No.” She shook her head, her heart so heavy. “I would make you crazed with my love for adventure, my need for