He stands by me when I’m hurting, and I will love him for that.
“Let’s get you home, lass.”
I don’t know how I make it back home.
I never should’ve come here to begin with, but my good mate Aisling corralled me into coming.
“You’re eighteen,” she said. “Have a little fun already. I’ve got a place I’d like to take you to.”
But then we met up with her friends, and we had a few drinks, and the next thing I knew they were dragging me into a club I’d never been to. I didn’t even know the name, or where it was. Maybe I was reeling a little, if I’m honest. Maybe I wanted to spread my wings and live a little. Maybe I was tired of trying to play by the strict rules set in place for the McCarthy family.
I had my guard with me, though they’re very good about staying in the background and being unobtrusive, so I figured I was safe.
I didn’t know this was a club that any members of the Clan would attend. I mean… I suppose I’ve been kept in the dark about those things. Why would I know, unless one of the other Clan women told me? So it shocked me to see Boner with a girl on each arm, and I blinked in surprise when I recognized Tully behind him.
But then… then I saw Lachlan. With… a woman. And my world came to a stuttering, excruciating halt. I tried to control myself, but I failed. My heart seized in my chest, my lungs constricted, and I stumbled to the back exit. I couldn’t breathe as I rushed toward fresh air.
I made some mumbled excuse about not feeling well to my friends, and for once actually beckoned the guard for help.
“I’m not well,” I breathed. I’ve not called on their help before like that, and I was thankful for their immediate attention and swift response. I found myself back home in short time, though I don’t even remember how I got there.
I make my way into the quiet, dark entrance of the home I share with Nolan and Sheena, and for the first time ever, a sudden pang hits my chest. My heart squeezes.
I’ve outgrown this place.
I don’t belong here anymore.
I used to, no doubt. I’ve always felt like I belonged. Nolan and Sheena have been so very good to me. But it was different when I was younger. When I was one of the children.
Maybe a birthday does make a difference.
Nolan and Sheena are in the living room when I enter, watching a movie. She’s curled up on his lap, and he’s got his arm around her.
“Y’alright, lass?” Nolan asks, his eyes coming to mine.
“Aye,” I tell him, making my way to my room.
“Got a text from the guard, said you were ill?”
Fucking hell, I forgot they’d report back to him.
“Got a little queasy is all.”
Sheena looks at me sharply. “Have you been drinking?”
“Not much.” And it’s true, I haven’t. “And anyway, I’ll have you remember it isn’t against the law.” I give her what I hope is a pointed glare, and she opens her mouth, then closes it. She doesn’t respond.
I’m halfway down the little hallway that leads to my bedroom when I make a decision. I’m not that good about thinking things over and weighing my options. I’m known for rash decisions, but there’s a benefit to that as well. I’m also known for being willing to take risks.
I turn on my heel and face them. “I’ve decided I know what I want to do,” I tell them. “You know, what we discussed earlier today.”
Aisling is going to school in Boston. She’s invited me to go, too, and in the slew of college applications I sent, Boston University was top of the list with a generous scholarship offered as well. A part of me wanted to go because Tiernan’s stationed in Boston, and Tiernan’s told me I’ll love the city with its multicultural flare and old-school feel. I didn’t want to go that far away, I told myself. I couldn’t. My home is here with the McCarthys, in beautiful Ballyhock.
But tonight… I want to get away. I don’t belong here anymore, as a child under the protection of Nolan and Sheena. They’ve got my younger brother and children of their own. A little voice in my head tells me that it’s only Lachlan I want to get away from, and I am furious at him, but I ignore the inner censor.
Now I