could have ruined things for them, put them all in danger. The worst was he’d upset his mother. Bad things happened when he upset his mother. His stomach cramped, viciously, then settled again. He looked back at her, wondered why she hadn’t punished him. Because he’d been hurt? She was beautiful, his ma, but now she didn’t look angry, she looked so disappointed, so sad. He knew he wasn’t what she wanted, never had been. He wasn’t much of anything. He tried to justify himself, but knew he sounded lame. “It would have been all right if not for Hammersmith showing up like that, out of the blue.”
“Hammersmith. Yes, he’s worrisome, isn’t he?” Her voice was absent, as if she was focusing on something else entirely.
Rafer said nothing, nor did Cyndia expect him to. She sat back in her chair and studied her son. Rafer was handsome, the picture of her own father at his age. He looked like a man’s man, like her own father had, but her father had been gifted and he’d passed his gift down to her. And she to her daughter, Camilla. She shook her head, to focus on the here and now. There was nothing she could do to change the past. But change the future, she was committed to that. And Rafer was vital. No matter what he was or wasn’t, he was still her son, his father’s son, and he was all they had.
He still looked scared and ashamed, like a little boy who’d peed his pants and had to own it. She lightly patted his arm, well above the cast. “Do you want to make this up to me, Rafer? And to your father?”
His eyes lit up, but even so, she still saw fear lurking. Of what she was going to ask of him? His mind had always been so clear to her, but now she couldn’t be certain.
He said, “Yes, Ma, yes. Anything. I’ll do anything for you. For Pa.”
“You’re a good boy, Rafer, and I love you. Now, there is something you can do for me, something you do very well. You’re recovered enough to act for me, past time, really. In fact, it must be done today. It’s important to me, Rafer, so you can’t fail, you understand? You need to be strong, and brave. I’m going to tell you exactly what to do and you will do it.”
He felt his insides turn to ice. He knew, oh yes, he knew what she was going to tell him to do. Even thinking about it made him sick to his stomach, but she was looking at him with such naked hope. And something more, something he’d felt from her forever, a sort of pressure bearing down on him, a feeling he couldn’t escape, couldn’t begin to fight. Even as his brain screamed at him, he slowly nodded, his eyes frozen on her face. She still looked at him with her own special kind of focus. He nodded again, licked his dry lips, whispered, “Yes, Ma, whatever you say. But what about this?” He waved his cast at her.
“I’ve taken the cast into account. It won’t get in your way.” She rose and he stood with her. She hugged him. “You’re my good son, Rafer. Make me proud of you.”
When Rafer left Eagle’s Nest thirty minutes later, he drove slowly down the narrow road with all its switchbacks. He thought about his life, the plans and dreams he’d had when he was a young man just graduated from high school, the future spread in front of him. Maybe he’d go to college.
Rafer laughed at himself.
None of it mattered now. This was what his mother wanted. He wouldn’t screw up this time.
51
* * *
HOOVER BUILDING
FRIDAY, NOON
Savich slid his Darth Vader jump drive into MAX’s USB port to load his access codes off the decryption program MAX had outsourced from Quint Bodine’s encrypted files. With the program’s massive processing speed, it was possible MAX could, if necessary, break the encryption by brute force. How long would it take? He didn’t know. He watched the blur of scrolling figures, then satisfied, he rose. He looked out his office window at the agents in-house today, talking on their cell phones or typing on their computers, Ruth biting into a chocolate chip cookie from a batch Lucy had brought in. Since his door was open, he heard Ollie and Davis discussing a case they were working on. He saw Shirley, his invaluable secretary and organizational