“What did you just say?”
“You… are… an… idiot,” I repeated. “Think about it and when you’re ready to apologize, I’ll listen. But I’ll accept an apology now for the insult you just dished out.”
“How about you explain,” he suggested in a way that was clear it wasn’t a suggestion.
“No explanation, but I’ll give you a hint. In all my vast experience of men through what you consider was India’s Decade of Slutdom, I’ve never, not once, even so much as had a toothbrush at another man’s house.”
He just stared at me, he didn’t get it or was too angry to process it. And he wasn’t moving and still had me pinned to the lockers. I was forced to explain further and I got a little carried away.
“I had one at yours after the first night I stayed there. Okay so it was in your stash, but it’s a toothbrush, Lee! One use and it’s mine. And we hadn’t even done it yet! Not to mention undies in your drawer and wearing your t-shirts.” I put my hands on my hips. “And sleeping at your house, like, all the time. None of that, never with another guy, never, never, never. Huh! Get it now?”
Something changed in his eyes but whatever it was just intensified the feeling already there. It went from scary-but-under-control to totally-out-of-control.
My stomach did a clench because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next.
His hands went to my h*ps and pulled mine against his, then his arms wrapped around me, one hand going into my hair. He tugged it, not gentle but as if he couldn’t control his strength.
My head went back and I let out a little cry but it was cut off when his mouth came down on mine and he kissed me. It was not like any kiss he’d given me before, it was hard and wild.
Somehow he’d lost control and I had to admit that I liked that I could make him lose it.
I liked it a lot.
When his head came up, he immediately dropped his forehead to mine, his eyes closed and he didn’t say a word. We were both breathing heavily and my hands were at his waist, clutching the t-shirt there. He was having an internal battle, I could tell, and when his eyes opened I realized whatever battle he was waging, he’d won.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked when he lifted his head.
I shook mine.
“Fuck, Indy, you turn me inside out.”
I stood there a beat and then said, very quietly, “Lee, I’m not doing anything to you. You’re doing it to yourself. I’m beginning to think you don’t know me either. There were guys but…” I was going to stay “none of them was you” but I stopped myself just in time and said, “it was just fun, half of them didn’t even get to second base. I’m not the slut you think I am.”
“I don’t think you’re a slut.”
“That’s not the way you make it sound.”
“I’ve been watchin’ men sittin’ in what I considered my position for a long time and I didn’t like it. I should have done something about this a long time ago, that’s my problem. I’m taking it out on you.”
I stared at him and realized that I’d spent years throwing myself at him and being rebuffed and watching him go off with every other girl who caught his eye. Each time it tore at my heart and each new time it hurt more.
What I didn’t realize was, for years he’d been experiencing the same thing.
“My flirting is harmless, you don’t have anything to worry about,” I told him.
“I’m still gonna ask you not to do it,” Lee replied.
I looked into his eyes for several seconds and then sighed. “All right. I’ll quit flirting.”
His arms were still around me and they pulled me deeper into him.
“That’s my girl,” he murmured and my heart stopped beating.
This was it, I was Lee’s girl.
And it felt great.
Holy shit, shit, shit.