“Kitten –”
What he said and what it meant final y penetrated my brain.
“You jerk,” I whispered.
His arms grew tighter. “Stel a, listen to me –”
“You jerk,” I repeated, my voice breaking, the tears sliding out the sides of my eyes, I didn’t even try to control them because I knew I couldn’t.
“I didn’t know how you felt, you didn’t tel me –” he started.
“You didn’t ask,” I reminded him.
“Babe, if I’d have asked, would you have told me?”
“Yes,” I said immediately and watched his head jerk back in surprise but I ignored it and went on. “I would have told you, back then I would have given you anything.” He watched my face as if assessing my honesty then his hand went up, his fingers sifting into my hair, he tilted his head back and shoved my face into his throat.
“Christ, Stel a,” he said but it sounded more like a groan.
“Mace, next time you feel like ‘giving me one’, you should reconsider,” I advised, my voice had turned cold, my eyes had dried and I knew, somehow, my heart had gone hard.
“Now, let me go.”
I meant the words with a double meaning.
Of course, he didn’t let me go.
Instead, he muttered, “I f**ked up.”
He was right about that.
“Yes, you did. Now let me go.”
“I f**ked up,” he repeated then used my hair to pul my face out of his throat and his head tilted down to look at me.
“Kitten, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I knew it took a lot for him to say that.
I knew it.
But it hurt so much I didn’t care.
“I’m sure you are. And I’m just as sure that I don’t give a f**k,” I lied but it sounded good, it sounded real and I watched him wince as I scored the point. I knew that seeing his wince should register somewhere but it didn’t. “Now let me go.”
He stil didn’t let me go, instead, he said, “You need to get it.”
“Oh, I get it,” I told him even though I didn’t and I never would.
“No, babe, you don’t. Yesterday morning –” I shook my head. “Oh no you don’t,” I snapped.
He was not going to f**k with my head anymore. He didn’t want to share until he got his piece of me, so be it. I was keeping al my pieces al to myself.
Fuck that!
His arms got so tight they made it hard for me to breathe and I watched as his face morphed from soft remorse to the beginnings of hard anger.
“Listen to me,” he growled.