“This was why,” he confirmed.
I pulled in breath through my nose.
Before I could process any of what he said much less come to terms with it, Tack stated, “Love and redemption.”
My head tipped on the pillow. “What?”
“That movie you made me watch, first time at your house. Love and redemption. You said, ‘the most beautiful stories ever told are the most difficult to take’. You said that, Red. Right out. And I knew if you got that, when it was later and I shared my shit with you, you’d get me. I never thought my story was beautiful. I thought it was shit. But you said that and when you did, I saw it. The ride is not over but if I can keep my Club together and find a sweet, feisty woman who’s got my back and enough to her that she’ll stay there, holding me up not dragging me down, I figure I’d find my way to beauty eventually. And I’d find absolution because I’d know, I earned the love of that woman, a woman who’s got so much to her it’ll take years to dig down and find the heart of her, that would be my reward.”
Ohmigod.
Ohmigod!
Ohmigod!
Did he just say that?
Did. He. Just. Say that?
“And you told me,” Tack continued, his face coming closer, “I had that when I first met you.”
“I –”
“So I was hooked to that shit, I did it, I participated in it, I was loyal to my brothers as I’d vowed I’d be and I pulled me and my Club out of it. I did that but that didn’t erase what we did. You are my absolution.”
Oh.
My.
God.
Now did he just say that?
“Tack –”
“And no way in f**k I’m gonna get in a stupid-ass fight with my woman, find out hours later some ass**le took his hand to my daughter, justifiably lose it and then watch the woman I been waitin’ for walk out my door.”
Oh God.
He said that. All of it.
“Tack, honey, I –”
“I get pissed, babe, wait it out or give it as good as you get,” he declared.
“But –”
“I say somethin’ stupid when I’m pissed, like you don’t have a say with my kids when you’re practically livin’ with them and definitely you’re a fixture in my life, you tell me to go f**k myself.”
“Well, I –”
“You got somethin’ to say, say it. You’re pissed, let it all hang out. You got an opinion, share it. What you don’t do is get scared of me and what you don’t do, ever, is walk out on us.”
I shut my mouth.
Tack waited.
I kept my mouth shut.