Shit!
“We are hooked up,” I said quietly. “Very. And I am that Sylvie. It’s just that I need to tell him what you and Kara expect for your future. Or, maybe, if you feel up to it, you both should talk to him about it. That would actually be better.”
The confusion left, the fear escalated and I knew I was not handling this well at all.
God, should I call Creed over?
“Does Dad not want us to live with him?” Brand asked.
I so totally should call Creed over but I couldn’t since I figured the priority was dealing with Brand’s escalating fear immediately.
“He does,” I answered. “Definitely. He misses you kids. He talks about you lots. He loves you to bits. But, it’s just –”
“Do you not want us to live with him?”
God!
What the f**k should I do?
Crap. I had to do what I always did.
Give it to him honestly.
“Yes,” I stated. “In a perfect world, yes. I think you kids are the business. You’re funny and smart and if I get some practice in, I am so getting my fair share of the pizzookie.”
That got me a small grin, I took heart in that so I kept going.
“So if you were around, I’d have lots of practice. But I’ve also met your Mom and I liked her a lot. She’s awesome. She still cares about your Dad and she totally loves both of you. For your Dad to have you, that would mean her losing you. It sucks, babe, you’re young and this is heavy stuff. My Mom and Dad were divorced and it’s not fun, sharing time, wanting both, only getting one at a time.”
Okay, part of that was a lie but I had to roll with it, so I kept doing that.
“And, for a while, until you’re old enough to do it for yourselves, your Dad and Mom have got to decide what’s best for you. I’m here to listen and happy to do it but they make the decisions. You just gotta tell them where you’re head is at and I don’t just mean you. Kara too. Your Dad has told me she and your Mom kinda don’t get along and it worries your Dad and probably really worries your Mom. She should know what’s up with Kara so she and your sister can work that out. You with me?”
“I think so,” Brand replied.
I nodded. “So, you do what you want but I suggest you talk to your Dad about all this. I don’t want to burst your bubble but it’s the right thing to do. That said, sorry if it freaks you out, babe, but I’ll be telling your Dad about this. Sometimes we’re gonna have just you and me talks. Hopefully, I’ll get the same with Kara. But sometimes, if it’s really important, like this, I’ll have to make the decision to tell your Dad and I hope you trust me to do right by you when I do.”
His mouth moved around and he looked at the yard. I looked too and saw that Creed totally missed my vibe and was now, with Theo on his shoulders, playing hide and seek with Adam, Kara and Leslie.
Shit.
When I got nothing back from Brand, I looked at him and asked, “Brand, you okay?”
“I think I’ll talk to him.”
Like his Dad, something weighed heavy on his mind, he went silent in order to think about it.
And he just proved he was a smart kid and brave.
Thank God.
“You think I should talk to him just me and him or do you think Kara should be with us?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know you guys enough to know how to answer that,” I replied honestly. “What do you think?”
“She might clam up if she’s there. She might get mad if I talk to Dad behind her back.”
“Then there’s your answer.”