would mean talking about the thing they weren't talking about…admitting to the things neither of them could admit to.
So instead, he Knox gripped the porch railing so hard that he could feel the wood giving way in his fist. Which was probably a good thing. He was going to need something to work on after this, something to fix.
Josie was so close, standing in the snow only a few feet from the bottom step, wearing snow boots and a coat that she'd fished out of Olivia's sack of loaned clothes. She looked beautiful in them—she'd look beautiful in anything.
Only the last remaining shreds of Knox's self-control kept him from going to her. In seconds, he could swoop her into his arms. That's all it would take, and she'd have no choice but to stay. She'd be his, forever.
Knox had a thousand reasons why he couldn't do it—his doubts, his demons, his precious freedom—but suddenly, they paled against the reality of Josie walking away.
Until this moment, he had thought that yesterday was the worst of it. Watching her face blanch and tighten as the pain become too much, seeing all that blood pouring from the wound—he'd felt so utterly helpless while she silently endured with sheer resolve and courage. Knox would have gladly cut off his own arm if it could have taken away Josie's pain.
She was the most amazing woman that he had ever known—the best he'd ever know.
And more than any of his other lame-ass reasons, that knowledge was what held Knox back now, fighting every alpha instinct to take her, possess her fire, make her his own.
If he touched Josie and forced her to stay, he'd be no better than a thief stealing a priceless jewel to hide it away where no one else could see it. Not to mention the fact that he'd be robbing his alpha brothers of what might be their only chance for justice since Josie was the only one who could challenge the lies the beta authorities told. Without her voice, there might be no end to the chaos they were causing in the Boundarylands.
For once in his life, Knox was determined not to act in his own selfish interests…no matter how much it was tearing him apart.
But that didn't mean he was a saint.
"Don't go," he ground out, unable to stop himself. "Stay."
Josie's eyes welled with tears as waves of regret poured from her. Knox knew what she was about to say before she ever opened her mouth.
"I wish I could…I really do. These past weeks with you have been…" She trailed off and rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of Olivia's coat.
"Fun?" Knox offered in a hopeless attempt to lighten the moment. He hated seeing Josie suffer, even if it was only to say goodbye.
"Amazing." She gazed into his eyes as she spoke the word, her scent redolent with sincerity and gratitude.
Fuck…this was killing him. It was worse than Knox's worst memory, the day his father told him he'd never amount to anything after he was cut from the varsity football team for cheating on a math test. That day, he'd resigned himself to the fact that he was worthless. Now he had to accept that he'd never have the one woman who might have redeemed him.
It was almost enough to make Knox wish he hadn't picked Josie up that first night, that he'd driven away and left her to become someone else's problem.
But that would have meant missing out on their time together, the most satisfying and joyful weeks of Knox's alpha life.
If only they'd been enough to convince Josie to stay.
After Gray and Olivia had finally left the day before, she'd tried to explain to Knox how important her work was. That if she didn't spread word of the government's plan to test and sterilize dormant omegas, countless women would suffer. That she had no choice.
Knox knew all that already. She didn't have to tell him, especially since the telling left her even more miserable—making him wonder who she was really trying to convince.
Not that it mattered. The end result was the same. She was returning to her other world.
Never mind that the beta world hated her. That it regularly choked her with tear gas and smashed her with batons. That it had dragged her from her bed in the dead of night, locked her in chains, and thrown her away like a bag of garbage.
It enraged Knox that Josie was so ready to fight for this world that