felt his cock, hard against my belly and it made my pussy so wet, so warm and wanting. A feeling I’ve dreamt about so long… to be kissed and held by a man ― but not just any man. Filson.
On paper, it makes no sense for me to want him the way I do but ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been fixated on the boy who came to Granny’s kitchen bearing bruises. She’d rub arnica cream on his cheek, telling him that he was brave and smart. I watched in awe of this boy who seemed so strong.
And today he kissed me.
And he admitted that he’d never kissed anyone either.
How is that possible? Though to be fair, you can do other things with a partner that doesn’t involve kissing.
My stomach rolls, the idea of Filson being with anyone else making me queasy. Then my heart fills with shame and regret. I left his house with Asher Martin. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head right now.
Not knowing what to do with the emotions swirling around me, I make a call that will ground me in reality.
“Hey, Jody? Just wanted to check in on the kitchen,” I say. “I’m guessing it’s pretty crowded with the snow?”
“It has been pretty packed. Thankfully there are lots of volunteers here from a Boy Scout troop.”
“Oh, that’s good,” I say. “And is Isaiah coming in later?”
“Yep, he’ll be here for the evening shift.”
“Great. I’ll be there tomorrow to go through the inventory.”
“I was gonna ask about that. There is an invoice here from Foodsellers, Inc., they say the last payment didn’t go through.”
I swallow. If the payments stop going through, then there will be no ingredients to use to prepare meals for the needy families in our community and beyond. We are the only soup kitchen for sixty miles. And it’s cold out, and it’s nearly Christmas. Not the time to close our doors. Tears prick my eyes, shame flooding all over again for the bad decisions I made since Granny died. Wishing she’d been honest with me before she passed about the state of her soup kitchen and the house. She’d made a lot of mistakes and I kept on making them after she was gone, not knowing what to do.
Getting that grant was my one hope and it didn’t come through. The city of Snowy Valley decided a flower garden in the center of town was more valuable then feeding the hungry.
“I’ll call Foodsellers on Monday, Jody. Thanks for letting me know.”
“Of course. And great news, we got a donation today. A check for fifty dollars from Asher Martin. So sweet, isn’t it?”
“Right, so sweet.”
I hang up with a bitter taste in my mouth. Asher is a lawyer in town who took over his father’s booming practice and makes plenty of money. Sure, fifty bucks is better than nothing, but part of me wonders why the check didn’t have an extra zero on it, especially this time of year.
Still, I know my passion for taking care of people isn’t everyone’s and I shouldn’t judge Asher for it even if he is a big fat jerk who finally showed his true colors. I’m grateful for the check, even though it won’t cover the costs of even one morning at the kitchen.
Restless, I head to my own kitchen and begin putting together a batch of gingerbread. Mixing the cloves and ginger, and the house begins to smell like Christmas. I turn on Christmas music and try to get into the holiday spirit. Granny would have hated me being so sad on December 2. Christmas is only a few weeks away.
Granny was able to push her worries aside and didn’t let them weigh her down. I can’t do that anymore. My years of playing make-believe are over. There is no knight in shining armor coming to rescue me from this mess.
Right now, it’s on me to try to come out of this year in one piece.
There’s a knock on my door, and I wipe my hands on my apron, then wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.
I pull open the door and see Filson standing there.
Filson.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. His voice gruff and harsh, like always.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Like hell you are. Why aren’t you on your date?”
“Why are you here? You said you were coming in the morning.”
“I figured I’d get to work on the Christmas lights. I know where the key is hidden for the garage. Thought