were all safely out in the world, there might be nothing left in Audrey’s future except serving coffee and selling crystals.
What matters is making sure Deanna, Oliver, Georgie, and Jane all make something of themselves and that you do your mom proud.
“Aren’t dreams a bit…” Audrey lifted one shoulder into a shrug. “Self-indulgent? That sounds harsh, and I don’t mean to be. Maybe I mean more that dreams are for people who’ve got survival sorted out.”
And she hadn’t yet. Not quite.
Nicole looked at her curiously. “You don’t think you’ve got survival sorted out?”
“It’s a work in progress.”
“You can still dream even if you don’t have the basics locked down.” Nicole shook her head. “Hell, dreams are what make survival worth it. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel.”
“It doesn’t feel like a light to me.” Sometimes, dreams were more like a noose. “All I’m saying is that I’m grateful for what I have. I could have less, so I don’t want to waste time thinking about what I’m missing out on. It’s not productive.”
Namely, she didn’t want to spend any more time mooning over Professor Ronan Walsh. Since their trip to the bookstore yesterday, he’d been on her mind. Constantly. In fact, she’d burned the family’s dinner last night because she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
That’s why dreams were dangerous. You could spend a whole life chasing something that wasn’t meant to be, only to end up missing out on the joy of what was right in front of you.
She forged on ahead, leaning into the slight incline of the earth. Audrey enjoyed the brisk walks and getting her heart rate up, even if nothing ever seemed to budge her weight.
That was one of those things—she could be unhappy that her genes meant even smelling a cheeseburger caused the pounds to stick to her hips and waste time wishing for slimmer thighs and a smaller waist. Or she could, as she chose to, be grateful for the fact that her body was strong and allowed her to work, to get out and enjoy nature and to fill out the chest area of all her tops very nicely.
It was all about perspective.
“That’s very practical,” Nicole said, catching up to her easily.
“Exactly.”
“But don’t you want more than practical?”
Yes.
“No.” Audrey shook her head resolutely. “Practical is important. Being happy is important. And I can’t be happy if I keep wanting what I can’t have.”
“I think it’s sad that you believe you can’t have dreams.” Nicole’s dark eyes narrowed with worry. “You deserve dreams.”
“I’d rather have reality.”
She loved her friend dearly, but they were very different people. Nicole was driven by her restless dissatisfaction and a hunger for more. Audrey was driven by responsibility and duty. Therefore, sacrifices had to be made. And she was more than happy to let go of lofty ideals in the pursuit of something tangible.
Her one little concession would be a dirty dream or two about Professor Ronan Walsh, because Audrey was human, after all.
…
The following Thursday, Ronan found himself wandering the Harrison Beech college campus after his work had gotten the better of him. It felt so small compared to Cambridge and Harvard, and so…new. Unlike the centuries-old universities of his previous experience, Harrison Beech had opened its doors in 1958. Some of the newer buildings weren’t erected until the nineties, and one particular upgrade had been completed a scant five years ago, with modern architecture and lots of glass.
It was a nice college. Not prestigious, but the staff seemed passionate, and he’d met plenty of students who were eager to learn. There were definitely worse places he could have ended up.
He made a start toward the sports stadium, which housed the baseball diamond. There was an exhibition match on tonight, and he got the sense it was a big deal and that it might be good form for him to show up. Besides, he’d spent the last few hours sitting in his office and staring blankly at the pile of research in front of him, trying to figure out how to make it tell a cohesive story. He needed a break.
Kissing Creek felt like a detour on his life map—almost as if he’d taken a wrong turn but was enjoying the scenery enough to take the long way around to his next milestone. Of course, being close to his grandmother was essential. In fact, he was heading to Boston this weekend to see her and finally meet his nephew in person.