chirping for its mum. I need to trust that she’s more than capable of looking after herself.
‘Are you all right?’ Krystle asks. ‘You sound a bit down.’
I hear Ronan’s car draw up outside. ‘I’m okay. I just had an argument with someone in the street, that’s all, and I’m feeling guilty.’
‘A fight? You?’
‘I know. Mad, isn’t it?’
‘Adam wants to talk to you.’
She passes the phone over, just as I hear the front door open. And then Adam’s in my ear, joking, ‘So what’s this about a fight? I hope the other guy came off worse?’
I sigh gloomily. ‘Actually, I think she did.’
‘She? A cat fight? I’d like to have seen that. So when are you coming back?’
‘I don’t know. Tomorrow, maybe.’
‘Great. I’ll book a table at The Olive Tree, shall I?’
I hesitate. ‘Adam?’
‘Yes?’
‘I don’t know. I mean, about whether we’d be good together.’
‘Really? But we get on like a house on fire. A whole street, in fact. Don’t we?’
‘Yes, I know. I love your company. But…a relationship isn’t just about having a laugh, is it? For me, it’s about being interested in the other person. Wanting to know everything about them.’
And you didn’t even remember my parents work in the hotel industry, even though I remember telling you. Whereas Ronan wanted to know all about them.
He sighs. ‘Is this you telling me we can’t go out for a meal tomorrow?’
‘No, I think we should. You’re a great friend, Adam. But let’s just keep it that way?’
‘You’re coming back tomorrow?’ shrieks Krystle, grabbing the phone. ‘Oh, that’s fabulous. I can’t wait to see you. In fact, don’t go out. I’ll cook a meal for the three of us and we can all catch up.’
I smile at her enthusiasm, suddenly wanting to see my sister more than anything.
‘Okay. I’ll nip back and stay overnight.’
I hear footsteps on the stairs. Ronan’s coming down from his room.
‘Adam wants to say something,’ calls Krystle, passing back the phone.
‘Hi, there. What is it?’ I ask, laughing.
‘Just that I love you, Carrie. As a friend. And I love your twinnie as well.’
I laugh. ‘She’ll really appreciate you calling her that. Not. Okay, Adam, I’ll see you tomorrow for a very special dinner.’
He snorts, getting the joke. Krystle might be a fine baker but she’s surprisingly finicky about food in general, so tomorrow’s dinner is liable to be her favourite stand-by: roast chicken and chips. She’s used to us joking about it.
‘Love you two,’ I call, hoping Krystle can hear.
I end the call, still smiling. Adam seems fine with my decision - that I just want to stay friends and nothing more. I feel like a weight has rolled off my shoulders.
‘So you’re going back tomorrow?’
I swing round. Ronan is standing in the doorway, his face taut, and panic grips me, for some reason.
‘Yes. But just to see Krystle. I’ll be back the next day.’
‘And Adam?’
‘Well, yes, I’ll be seeing him as well. But only with Krystle. She’s making dinner for all of us.’
‘But you love him? Adam?’
I stare at him, feeling suddenly nauseous. ‘As a friend.’
‘Carrie, you don’t have to pretend. I heard you say it. I love you, too.’ He shrugs. ‘That’s fine. I’m happy for you.’
He walks out, takes the stairs two at a time and disappears into his room, closing the door firmly behind him.
I sit there, stunned.
I didn’t say I loved Adam. Why would I?
Then I remember. My exact words were, ‘I love you two.’ I meant both of them, but Ronan clearly thought I was just talking to Adam. I love you, too.
I run upstairs and knock on the door. ‘Ronan? I really don’t love Adam. Not in a romantic way. You misheard me.’
‘I don’t think I did. But as I said, it’s fine.’
‘No, but it’s not fine. I need you to understand.’
‘Carrie, I do understand. You’ve been crazy about Adam for a long time. There’s no need to be ashamed of it.’
‘I’m not ashamed. I’m just saying feelings change.’
‘It was only the other day you were kissing him on the doorstep.’
‘Well, yes, but I was drunk.’
There’s silence.
‘I kissed you as well,’ I remind him. And that meant so much more…
I hold my breath, waiting for a reply. ‘Can I come in, please?’
‘I’m tired,’ he says shortly. ‘Can we talk about this in the morning?’
I creep away to my own room, feeling oddly emotional. Exhaustion is scrambling my brain and I can’t seem to think straight. All I know is I hate going to sleep on an argument. I know my exchange