a bunch of girls dancing in the street.
“Yes,” I said, my head falling to the glass as it spun in hazy waves.
Jackson said nothing, and I tried to lift my head, but I’d overdone it, and all too soon, blackness took hold.
Lars and Jackson had hauled me out of the car and left me on the porch. Lars needed help getting back to the truck, so Jackson rang the doorbell and left me there.
Couldn’t exactly blame him, but it did take my dad a considerable effort to help me inside.
Showered and lying face down on my bed, I replayed the events of the previous night over and over. It never got any easier to relive. I was a masochist of the worst degree.
But if I was going to feel like shit in every possible way, I was going to make sure I did it right.
Church slithered along my body, then his paws started kneading my back. I wasn’t wearing a shirt, so his nails were a bit of an issue, but he was one of the only things I loved, so I’d put up with it. Not like I didn’t deserve a bit of pain anyway.
“Knock, knock.” Dad opened my door.
I didn’t even bother looking at him and grunted. “Usually people knock, rather than say, knock, knock.”
“I wouldn’t get smart with me, drunkard.” He paused, and I heard him take a slurp of coffee. I’d kill for some coffee, but I wasn’t sure my stomach could handle anything. “Now, I was eighteen once …”
I groaned. “Not this shit again.”
“Shut your mouth. I was eighteen once, and I remember with not a lot of clarity how much shit one can get into. However, this needs to stop, Dash. Get control of yourself.”
“I haven’t lost control of a damn thing.”
“Partying every weekend, getting suspended from school for beating someone up, and let’s not even get started on the lack of respect you have for me and your mother.”
I coughed, my chest rattling. “Mainly just Mother Dearest.”
He made a growling sound, and I cringed. Too far. “Fine, fine.” I waved an arm. “I’ll be better, do better, whatever.”
Dad remained there, his judgment and the unspoken words he was keeping tucked away hanging heavy in the stale air of my room. After a minute, he sighed. “You have today to be hungover, then I want you up and out of the house. No video games tomorrow.”
That had me rolling over. Church protested, his nails scoring into my back. I hissed. “What? What does playing a few games have anything to do with?”
“You have brand-new bikes in the garage and acres of land behind the house to ride them on. Get out and do that, or I don’t know …” He threw around the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his mug. “Clean up this shit-sty of a room.”
“That’s what Franny is for,” I said to his retreating back.
“Franny said she doesn’t want to enter your dungeon anymore. Occupational hazards.”
“Occupational what?” I glanced around at the junk lining the floor. It wasn’t too bad. Just food wrappers, clothes, textbooks, gaming consoles and cords, and some empty glasses and bowls. I harrumphed, then flopped back down on the bed to bask in my misery.
Today, I would mope.
Tomorrow, I would mope too, but I would do it while trying to win my best friend back.
Peggy
“Peggy.” Mom tapped at the door. “I need to head into town for a bit.”
I rolled my head off my pillow enough to mumble, “Awesome.”
A pause, then, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
Mom waited a beat. “Okay. Call me if you need anything. Hopefully, I won’t be long.”
I felt like reminding her that I was eighteen and I was quite capable of being left home alone, broken heart or not. That wouldn’t fly, and it wasn’t fair to take how I was feeling out on her, but I was beginning not to care.
It cost too much to care, when all I could see were two figures moving in a bed, and hear the sound of Kayla’s moaning. In a continuous loop, it all circled and recycled. I couldn’t shut it off. So I tried to sleep instead, but even behind tear-swollen lids, everything chased me and demanded I look.
Look at what you’ve done.
Look at what we’d gone and done.
A few kisses had changed everything. Or maybe it would’ve changed anyway. Who knew. I suppose we might never know. But it shouldn’t have happened the way it did. If we were always destined to