even start investigating how this happened, who got to him here in our sanctum, without drawing attention to the situation,[S8]” Artyom said calmly. “I’m not happy either, Roman, but I won’t risk Kostya’s empire because you are unable to rationalize.”
Roman snarled at Artyom. “You—!”
“I’ll do it.”
Silence fell over the room. A few blinks were sent my way, like they had forgotten I was in the room.
I combed Kostya’s hair back with a hand and repeated my offer, “I’ll make it.”
The doctor coughed. “Uh, it is a complicated chemical process. It cannot be made in your back garden—”
“If Elena says she can make it, then she can.” It was Roksana who had spoken up, elegant voice brittle with worry.
Artyom snapped his eyes to me. “What do you need?”
“It’s a mix of anti-digoxin immunoglobin fragments—” The doctor began, but Roman cut him off.
“What the fuck is that?”
“It’s from sheep immunized with DDMA,” I answered.
“Then I’ll find you the healthiest fucking sheep in the world, Elena,” Roman said, not entirely understanding but trying to help.
I pressed a hand to Konstantin’s forehead. It felt strange and awkward to show affection in front of his family, but my heart was shaking with something I couldn’t recognize but couldn’t deny.
My chin wobbled as I whispered, “I’ll be back soon, Kon. If you die while I’m gone, I’ll kill you.”
Even in his unconscious state, I could’ve sworn his lips twitched into a smile.
No one bothered me.
Or maybe they did, and I didn’t hear them through my concentration. A haze had settled over me, sucking me into a tunnel of bacteria and cells and nanograms. My mind was being used at its fullest capacity, learning years of knowledge in a few hours.
If I wasn’t blinking away tears at every turn, I might have enjoyed it.
Roman and Danika accompanied me. Both were uncharacteristically silent—then again, maybe they were talking, and I hadn’t heard them—but I could feel the pressure of their eyes on my back.
I wasn’t worried about their wrath if I fucked up the cure.
I was only thinking of Konstantin.
I felt his presence as I worked. Heard his voice in my ears, felt his lips against my skin. Sometimes when I caught my hair, I felt his fingers twisted around the strands, or when I pulled my sweater over my neck, it was his hands I felt trailing over my shoulders.
Intimacy which I had never had, never even wanted, had be cultivated between the two of us.
Like a wisteria plant, the connection had started slow and weary, the first twig forming from very little. But as time had worn on, nourished by challenges and understanding, the vines had grown stronger and larger, climbing into my heart and soul and mind. Now there was no escape, no single branch that could be cut to end the link between us.
A word had formed in my head. Four letters, one syllable. But I refused to voice it aloud; I even avoided saying it in my mind.
I doubted Konstantin would feel so inclined towards me once he knew all my dirty little secrets.
I pushed away thoughts of those very secrets, shoving down the images of my father and Thaddeo. And Tatiana. There would be time later to face the consequences for my actions, but right now I needed to help Konstantin, save Konstantin. Nothing else mattered.
As I measured and poured, I felt the irony of the situation. How often had I performed these very same sets but with a different intention in mind? Instead of causing damage, I was using my brain to help and heal.
To save.
Hours after the sun had set, the drug was finished.
I bundled up the syringe in a cloth, desperate to let nothing happen to it, before presenting it to Roman. He only said, “Let’s go.”
The doctor held his hand out for the drug, but I refused to give it to him.
“I’m doing it,” I snarled.
He blinked behind his spectacles, like he was surprised at my feralness, before nodding hurriedly. “Of course, of course. Let me walk you through it…”
Everyone crowded around as I administered the digoxin to Konstantin. The doctor helped me position the needle, and safely inject his vein.
The amount was crucial. Too much digoxin and he could suffer from cardiac arrythmia, too little and he could die.
Seconds passed.
I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Each thump was another second gone.
Another second…
I needed to come clean. Secrets and mysteries gripped onto me with their claws, unwilling to let me go. I needed to be free.