actually listen. I pray the whole flight, but I’ll never know if my prayers are answered.
Alannah
“Three, two, one. Happy New Year!”
The glasses tink together and there’s plenty of hugs as a big 2016 flashes on the screen over and over again. There’s confetti and kisses, and my parents’ house never looked so full of joy. It’s January first, 2016, and I feel more anxious than ever about the future.
“Alright, alright, everybody gather around,” my mother says, interrupting the happiness. Everyone quiets down and gives her their attention. “Okay, so now that we’ve brought in the New Year, it’s time for the second reason we’re here tonight.”
The twenty-or-so people in the room all seem to turn to me at the same time. They know what she’s talking about, and I feel a wave of heat rush over me.
“As you all know,” my mom continues, her purple dress flowing around her ankles. “Our beloved Alannah is moving away to start her own life in the mid-west, and we wanted to take this opportunity to get together one last time to show her how much we love her, and how much we’re going to miss her when she’s gone. I’m going to be worried to death every single day, but I know she has her mind made up, and she’s going to do big things with her life. So, if you all could raise your glasses one more time for my baby girl, Miss Alannah Sullivan. Cheers.”
The group of friends I’ve made over the past ten years raise their glasses towards me and say “Cheers” in unison, followed by a loud applause I wasn’t expecting.
“Speech!” someone shouts from the back, then a few more people repeat it, egging me on.
“Come on, Alannah. Give us a speech,” my mother says, adding to the peer pressure. Her mascara starts to mix with her tears and streak down her face, but she wipes it away. Ugh, peer pressure is a bitch.
I nod to the group as I step over next to my mom. The room goes silent as I realize I have no idea how to begin.
“Umm. I don’t really know what to say,” I start.
“Well, that’s a first,” Derrick Coleman says from the back, making everyone laugh. I give him a look that says shut up. Derrick thinks he knows me because we dated a few years back. He doesn’t, which is one of the many reasons we’re not together anymore.
“Umm,” I begin again. “Well, I don’t know. I, uhh, I feel lucky to have lived here in Anchorage all this time. The past ten years of my life have been amazing. I’ve made awesome friends and awesome memories that I’ll never forget. I appreciate all of you being here and being supportive of me moving out to St. Louis all on my own. I know it’s a big change, and it’s scary, but I look forward to it. I think it’ll be good for me to build my own life. I’m going to miss all of you, especially my old college friends, and my girls from the hospital. It’s going to be hard nursing it up in St. Louis without you ladies, and without my mom, but like I said, I look forward to the adventure. Mercy Hospital seems really nice, and they’re anxious for me to get there, so it should be fun.
“I’m going to be in touch with all of you, I swear. I’ll never forget where I came from or the impact all of you have had on my life. I love you all, and I’ll be here to visit all the time, so you better be ready to have a blast when I’m in town.”
“We love you, Alannah!”
“I love you, too, Jessica! Alright, now that’s enough of a speech. I don’t want to start crying. Thank you, guys.”
They all applaud again and pat me on the back as I go hug my mother. She squeezes me like she’s afraid she’ll never see me again once I get on the plane in a few days, and I can tell she’s fighting back her tears. I am too.
It’s been a long road getting to this point. All the relationships—good ones and bad ones—all the school, all the family stuff—good and bad. It’s been an adventure, and Anchorage has become a great home for me and my family. It’s been so good that my dad decided to retire from the Air Force and live here for good, which is why he can’t