around me, a suction so perfect my vision goes blurry for a second. If I look at the way I disappear in her mouth, I’ll lose it down her throat, and I want this to last as long as humanly possible.
With my eyes closed, every other sense awakens. The mewling little sounds she makes, like a thirsty cat at a trough of cream. The way her nails dig into my thighs, little claws holding me still so she can get it just how she wants. The warm, wet brush of her tongue and the lining of her cheeks caressing my cock. It feels so good, like she peeled back the skin and is sucking my nerves.
“Nix, I’m gonna . . .”
I open my eyes and know it’s a lost cause. Her eyes are squeezed shut, and I’m so far down her throat, choking her just enough for tears to slip over her cheeks. The sight of her like that . . . I try to pull her mouth away in time, but she opens her eyes, stares at me and deliberately moves my hand, linking our fingers while she sucks and swallows. With my other hand, I press the back of her head, pushing in deeper and letting myself go, shedding all thought and giving in to an unbridled fucking of her mouth.
“Shit.” I can barely speak, and I come so hard, spilling down her throat, overflowing the sides, running down her neck. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. She licks from base to crown, torturing me even more.
When she’s done, we crawl onto the bed. She hovers over me, kissing me, feeding me the salty taste lingering on her lips and coating the sweet interior of her mouth. Never breaking the tender kiss, she lies down beside me. Exhausted, we lay our heads on one pillow, twist our hands together between our chests, and in the tumble of sheets and rain-damp bodies, we fall asleep. And in my dreams, we make love all night.
18
Lennix
I’m there again, standing on a rise of rock overlooking the sacred grounds where my tribe has wed and danced and sung and mourned. We cluster at the edge of the cliff, watching the clearing. Mena, my father, Mr. Paul—everyone from my Sunrise Dance all stand with me. A gentle touch pushes my hair away from my face.
“Mama,” I whisper. My throat burns and she blurs in front of me through a scrim of tears. “I thought you were gone. They said you were gone.”
“No.” Mama’s eyes shimmer with tears, too. “Never. I’m always here, Lenn. Always with you.”
I reach for her, needing to hold her, to feel her solid and soft against me, but she disappears.
A sound forces my attention to the plains below. The trees, there moments before, are gone now and the land has been invaded by monstrous machines. They claw through the dirt, overturning clumps of it and shoving it aside. The bulldozer’s massive jaw scoops up the earth and an arm dangles over its row of steel teeth. The truck turns and drops its burden of soil and limbs to the ground. The body falls and rolls over, revealing the face. Lifeless eyes stare back at me through a veil of dark hair.
A low, keening scream builds from my belly and scrambles up my throat. “Mama!”
19
Maxim
I wake to the sound of Lennix’s terror and reach to turn on the bedside lamp. She kicks and strikes out. I put my arms around her and press her back to my chest.
“Nix,” I say, my voice sharpening as I force my way to full consciousness. “Nix, baby, stop.”
“Mama,” she mutters, tossing her head back so hard she nails my chin.
I work my jaw and flip her onto her back. “Lennix, wake up.”
“Mama, oh God,” she says fretfully, her eyes still closed. “Come back. Mama, don’t go. Don’t go.”
The words jumble, dissolving into sobs that shake her shoulders and crumple her pretty face.
“Shhhh.” I bend my lips to her ear. “I’m here. Hey, I’m right here.”
When I push her hair back, she stills, grabbing my hand and bringing it to her face. She kisses my hand and her tears wet my fingers.
“Mama,” she says, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. “I thought . . . I thought . . .”
“I’m here,” I whisper to her. I’m not sure if I’m telling her that I’m her mother to keep her calm, or if I’m telling her that I’m here, but it doesn’t matter. I am