hand.
“The palace magic has been responding to you more often,” Nisreen said softly. “Since that day.”
“It probably likes me picking fights with the Qahtanis.”
“I would not be surprised.” Nisreen sighed. “But on that … things will get better here. I promise. Your hospital is nearly complete. And though I don’t agree with your involving the shafit, you’ve brought back something vital, something incredibly important to our people.” She lowered her voice. “And for what you’ve done for Jamshid, you should be blessed. It was the right thing to take him under your wing.”
Nahri let go of the flower, still glum. “I hope so.”
Nisreen touched her cheek. “It was.” Her eyes turned intent. “I’m proud of you, Nahri. Perhaps in all our disagreements, that’s not a thing I’ve made clear, but I am. You’re a good Banu Nahida. A good … what is your human word? Doctor?” She smiled. “I think your ancestors would be proud too. A little horrified … but proud.”
Nahri blinked, her eyes suddenly damp. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Happy Navasatem,” the other woman offered dryly.
“Happy Navasatem,” Nahri repeated, raising the bottle. “To the start of a new generation,” she added, trying to stifle the slight slur in her voice.
Nisreen pulled the bottle from her hands. “I think that’s enough.”
Nahri let her take it, working up the courage to ask her next question. “You said I was stubborn … do you—do you think I’m being too proud?”
“I don’t understand.”
Nahri stared at her hands, feeling self-conscious. “If I had any sense, I’d be patching things up with Muntadhir. I’d be returning to Muntadhir. I’d find a way to give Ghassan the grandchild he wants.”
Nisreen hesitated. “That strikes me as a terrible reason to bring a child into this world.”
“It’s the pragmatic one. And that’s what I’m supposed to be,” Nahri pointed out, bitterness stealing into her voice. “Pragmatic. Heartless. That’s how you survive in this place. It’s how I’ve survived everything.”
Nisreen’s voice was soft. “But what do you want, Nahri? What does your heart want?”
Nahri laughed, the sound slightly hysterical. “I don’t know.” She looked at Nisreen. “When I try to imagine my future here, Nisreen, I see nothing. I feel like the very act of envisioning the things that make me happy will destroy them.”
Nisreen was looking at her with open sympathy. “Oh, Banu Nahida, don’t think like that. Listen, Navasatem begins tomorrow. Enjoy it. Enjoy your hospital and the parade. Ghassan will be too busy overseeing everything to scheme.” She paused. “Try not to fret over your future with the Qahtanis. Let’s get through the next few days, and we can sit and discuss all this after.” Her voice caught. “I promise you … things are going to be different very soon.”
Nahri managed a nod, Nisreen’s calm words dissipating some of the fear that gripped her heart. They always did; Nisreen had been a steadying presence at Nahri’s side since her first day in Daevabad. She’d saved her from the various plots of the harem and guided Nahri’s trembling hands through countless procedures. She’d rinsed Dara’s ashes from Nahri’s tear-streaked face and quietly told her what to expect on her wedding night.
And yet it suddenly struck Nahri that for all the times she’d unburdened herself to Nisreen, there was still so little she knew about her mentor. “Nisreen, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Are you happy here?”
Nisreen looked surprised by the question. “What do you mean?”
“I mean …” Nahri wrung her hands. “Do you ever regret staying in Daevabad after my mother healed you?” Her voice gentled. “I know you lost your parents in the attack on your village. But you could have returned home and had your own family instead of serving mine.”
Nisreen grew very still, her gaze contemplative. “I would be lying if I said there weren’t times I feared I’d taken the wrong path. That I never dreamed of something else, never mourned the other lives I might have lived. I don’t think that’s an uncertainty anyone loses.” She took a sip of the soma. “But I’ve led an astonishing life here. I’ve worked alongside Nahid healers, witnessing the most miraculous, incredible things magic is capable of. I’ve saved lives and consoled the dying.” She smiled again, taking Nahri’s hand. “I’ve taught the next generation.” Her eyes grew wondrous, seeming to gaze into a distance Nahri couldn’t see. “And there are even greater things to come.”
“Does that mean you plan to stay?” Nahri asked, a mix of jest