close. But if she fought for him, if she challenged the king, if she did so with dragons . . . would Rodric want her help, if it meant causing more destruction along the way? He would not want her to burn the kingdom in his name.
But people believed in her. People were relying on her. She could not just leave them. But neither could she betray them with fire.
She needed advice, the thoughts of someone she could trust. And although she had talked in the dark with Finnegan, telling him things she wanted to hide even from herself, he did not really know war. For all of his bravado, he had little more experience than Aurora herself.
But Orla might know. Aurora could not tell her about their plans with the dragons, but she could reveal more about her magic and about the king’s state of mind to gain her trust, and the queen could tell her more about whether violence could ever really lead to peace. Orla had a no-nonsense attitude that suggested she had tackled many difficult decisions before. She seemed as fair as she was practical, and Aurora could not imagine her letting her feelings get in the way of the right decision.
As soon as the sun rose, Aurora wrote a note to the queen, requesting that they have lunch, and sent it off with a servant. Half an hour later, the servant returned with another piece of paper, fastened with the royal seal of Vanhelm. The parchment was littered with inkblots. Among them, Orla had scribbled an invitation to join her in her study.
“I’m glad you wrote to me,” Orla said, after Aurora sat and a servant had gone to fetch food. “I have been wishing to speak to you alone for some time. Things are tense, as I am sure you know. And with Vanhelm between Alyssinia and the dragons . . . every day, discussions, every day, strategy. But that is the role of a queen, is it not?”
She watched Aurora as though expecting some reply. Aurora nodded.
“So tell me,” Orla said. “What is it that you wished to speak with me about? I am certain that you did not simply wish for my company.”
“Oh.” Aurora said. She could not think how to respond without being rude. “I wanted your advice.”
“You want advice from me? I am your kingdom’s enemy, am I not?”
“I don’t believe so,” Aurora said. “And even if you were, that doesn’t mean your perspective isn’t worth listening to.”
“And what is it you want advice on?”
Aurora smoothed her skirt to stop herself from fiddling with her hair. “It seems,” she said carefully, “that the only way I can possibly stop King John is by challenging him. Whether I get people there to support me or find outside help . . . I’m going to have to fight.”
“You do not have to fight,” Orla said. “You could leave things as they are.”
“I could,” Aurora said. “But if I wish to change anything, then I have to fight. But I can’t stop thinking that my interference could make it worse. I could be responsible for awful things that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t interfered. But if it’s to do good . . . is that good?”
“Aurora.” Orla rested her elbows on the desk and clasped her hands in front of her lips. She watched Aurora thoughtfully for a moment. “Such questions have disturbed our greatest minds for about as long as we have existed. If you wish for me to give you a solid, undisputable answer, I am afraid you will be disappointed. No one can answer that but yourself. But perhaps you are asking the wrong question here. It is not about what is ‘right,’ but what is practical. What is the best course of action, assuming that all of them will have some bad ends? So the first question, perhaps, is whether you intend to return to Alyssinia.”
“I have to return,” Aurora said. “Eventually.”
“Why? Alyssinia already has a queen. A king, too, and a prince, and plenty of people fighting for the throne. If you can make a difference for the better, then you should go. But can you do that?”
“I have to,” Aurora said. “It’s what I’m meant to do.”
“Meant to do? Oh, my poor girl. No one is meant to do anything. According to your country, no woman is meant to rule on her own, and I am sure they’d see our dragons as punishment for our audacity.