into her, he went hard and wild—until his body took a short pause to recover. And that was when he felt the difference he’d made in her: She, too, was at a brief rest, the tension in her body uncoiling as if her very molecules were taking a deep breath.
But before he could congratulate himself, he sensed something else. Sorrow permeated the air, the sad spice of it stopping him and tilting his head down as if he could look her in the eyes.
“Don’t cry,” he said roughly. “Leelan, don’t—”
“Why are you doing this?” she moaned. “Why …?”
There was only one answer. For tonight … and evermore: “Because I love you more than anything else.”
More than himself. More than any future young.
Her trembling hand brushed his face. “Are you sure?”
He replied by beginning to move deep inside of her again, the rolling penetrations sliding him in and out of her slick sex. And her response? The sound she let out was part purr, part groan, her hormones cranking up again.
For some reason, he thought about Vishous’s vision.
I see you standing in a field of white. White, white is all around you and you are talking to the face in the heavens.
Your future is in your hands.
Jesus Christ, he felt like the Fade was breathing down his neck, stalking him—and even though that was true of every living thing, he felt targeted, like his expiration date was around the next corner.
It didn’t mean that Beth was going to survive him. Quite the contrary. The most likely cause of his own demise … was going to be hers.
Dropping his head into her neck, he jacked his arms under her body and got serious about the fucking. Giving in, giving up, going with it was just like jumping off a cliff—the leap was the easy part because the free-falling didn’t cost you shit.
It was the landing that was a killer.
THIRTY-THREE
Sola closed her eyes as she urged her body deeper into the belly of the tub. As the water level rose up to cover everything but her neck and head, its warmth made her realize how cold she had been, not on the surface of her skin, but down in her marrow.
Staring at her body in the dim light, she felt divorced from it, and she wasn’t an idiot. Letting some thug grope her so that she could survive the night had created the separation—the thing now was … how to get a connection back?
She knew one sure solution.
But he had left her up here alone.
Man, she was having a hard time taking Assail’s very sound advice. Pretending those hours, that fear, the horror hadn’t existed seemed just as challenging as getting through the experience itself. But what was her other option? She couldn’t breathe the same air as her grandmother, with everything she had done and seen right in the forefront of her brain.
Looking down at herself again, she moved her legs. Through the undulating waves, the bandage on her thigh distorted and re-formed, distorted and re-formed. Reaching through the water, she pulled the thing off, the adhesive coming free easily. She knew she wasn’t supposed to get the wound with its stitches wet—oops.
Where the hell had Assail taken her to be treated? That place had been big money, from that gating system to the medical facility to all those people. Her brain had been trying to make sense of it, and the only conclusion she still kept coming to was government.
Even though he’d laughed that off, she couldn’t think of any other explanation.
But he hadn’t arrested her.
Closing her eyes, she wondered how he’d known how to find her. And what exactly he’d done to Benloise. Shit, that image of blood on Assail’s face, around his mouth …
Who was going to be in charge of Caldwell now?
Duh.
Lifting a hand out of the water, she pushed her hair back. The wetness was wicking up the length of it, warming the base of her neck, making her perspire.
God, it was so quiet here.
She had lived in that house with her grandmother for almost a decade and she was used to the chatter of a neighborhood: cars driving by, dogs barking distantly, children yelping and yelling as they dribbled basketballs in driveways. Here? Only the water moving against the tub as she shifted her legs around—and she knew the silence wasn’t just because there were no other houses immediately around them. This place had been built like a fortress, and it had tricks. High-level tricks.
She thought