declaration of love?” It felt easy to talk into the darkness. Jo was kind enough to listen. “I’m beginning to wish I never met him.”
“I doubt that. But—”
As if I’d conjured it, my phone rang with an incoming call from Shane. I hesitated. “Should I answer that?”
“Up to you.” She started to stand, but I held up a finger. I wanted solidarity.
I hit Answer and put it on speaker. “Hi, Shane.”
Silence.
“Hello?”
Nothing. Then some scratching sounds, muffled.
A voice came through, “—but he chickened out.” It sounded like it came from several feet away. There was a heavy rumbling sound beneath the other sounds, like they were on the bus.
“I didn’t chicken out.” That was Shane, much closer. Much clearer. “It’s complicated.”
I looked over at Jo, eyebrow raised. She put her hands over her mouth. “Butt dial.”
“Should I hang up?”
She shook her head and scooted closer to my phone when a different voice that sounded like Micah said, “It’s not complicated. Do you want the girl?”
Shane: “You know I do, but—”
Micah: “But nothing. You do realize you’re the one who fucked up, right?”
Shane: “Did you read what she wrote today? She got what she wanted.”
The other voice. Noah? “You know, Shane. I tell you this all the time, but you are your own worst enemy.”
Shane. “No, you are.”
Micah: “Stop it, both of you, or I’ll turn this bus around right now.”
Jo and I just stared at each other, eyes wide, as we listened in. “Should I hang up?” It seemed obvious I shouldn’t be eavesdropping on them. “I should hang up.”
My thumb hovered over the End button, but she lifted a hand. “Wait a second.”
She took out her phone and typed something. A ringtone sounded through my speaker, and she grinned. “That was my text to Micah.”
A second passed before we heard Micah saying, “Shane, check your phone.”
The ruffling sound increased, and then Shane’s voice came through, loud and clear. “Layla? What the—”
“I think you accidentally called me.”
“What? When? How long ago?”
“Just a second ago. I couldn’t hear much. Are you on the bus?”
“Yeah, we just left Baltimore. It’s only a couple of hours to D.C., so we’re pressing on. I guess we get to sleep in tomorrow for a bit once we get to the hotel.”
“How was your show?”
Jo stood and patted my back.
Shane’s voice continued out the speaker. “We had a good crowd.”
Jo pointed toward the house with a tilt to her head, clearly wanting to give us privacy. I nodded, and as she slipped through the sliding door, I switched the speaker off and held the phone to my ear. I wanted to listen to his voice like he was right there with me.
“Glad to hear it.” The hitch in my voice gave away the emotion I wanted to hide.
Maybe he heard it because he added, “To be honest, it wasn’t as fun without you here.”
Should I tell him I missed him, too?
“So, does that mean you’re no longer mad at me?”
“I’m not mad, Layla. I’m hurt. There’s a difference.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“Am I? I told you I needed more time, and not three days later, I get this email with links to pages filled with every single thing I’ve told you freaks me out.”
“What do you mean you got an email?”
“It doesn’t matter. It should have come from you. You could have warned me.”
He was right about that. “I know. And I’m sorry.” I sighed. “But you also said you were going to try and trust me. At the first bump in the road, you demanded I sever all ties with your friends. That’s not an overreaction?”
“I shouldn’t have asked that of you, but at that precise moment, I needed some certainty that you wanted to be with me. Only me.”
“And it wasn’t enough for me to tell you that?” I leaned back and stared at the pitch black sky, repressing a scream. “What did I tell you about your own mistrust being the very thing that was going to break us apart?”
“I know.” His exhale came through, matching my own pent-up frustration. “But do you know how many times my mistrust has been well founded?”
“You’re projecting your fear onto me, and I don’t know what I can do to convince you that you’re delusional, short of acquiescing to abusive demands.”
“Abusive? I’m not—”
“Yes, Shane. You wanting to control me is abusive.”
“I’m trying to convince you I’m not delusional. I’ve had girlfriends dump me the minute they thought they had a chance with Noah.”