Yes, I’ve been agonizing this since waking up three days ago. I’ve been in my head about it and haven’t been paying attention like I know I should be. Especially when I followed through on Killer’s want of me being in his room by the time he got back. All of my things are now moved into his room and the one I was staying in has been cleaned so Rich can sleep there. When we were moving things from one room to the other one, I got cut and scraped more than I should have. Rich isn’t happy about it because Killer threatened him about me getting hurt and whatnot.
Rich has let me have my space over the last few days. He makes sure I’m okay before leaving me alone for the rest of the day. I’ve been trying to focus on schoolwork and getting ahead in some of my classes just so I have something to do to keep my mind busy. I don’t want to think about Killer or dwell on what I said. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t always shut off when I want it to. It’s always been that way. I overthink things and get completely lost in my own head. By the time he gets back, I’ll have thought about uttering the ‘l’ word over a million times. That’s one of my biggest downfalls.
Today, I’m venturing out of the house. We need food so Rich and I are heading to the grocery store. We’re also going to grab something from the diner because I don’t want to make anything for lunch. Killer didn’t leave money for me; he left a damn card linked to his bank account with my name on it. I’m supposed to use it for whatever I need while he’s gone. I don’t really want to use it, but I know he’ll complain if I don’t. I’ll just make sure I keep enough money for whatever I spend to pay him back. I’m not going to let him pay for everything while I stay in his house. That’s one of the reasons I need to find another job. Pronto.
“Ready to head out?” Rich asks as I walk from Killer’s room, looking for my purse.
“Yeah. Let’s get this done,” I respond, picking up my purse and grabbing my keys from the table just inside the door.
Rich and I walk out the door and I look around for anything out of the ordinary. It’s a habit of mine since living with my father. His henchmen would come out of nowhere to capture and torture me. Now, I always want to know what and who are in my surroundings. There are times I’m so lost in my head, I forget to pay attention, but for the most part I try to always keep my head about me. I don’t ever want someone to be able to sneak up on me again.
I head for my car while Rich straddles his bike. When I get it turned on, the radio is already blasting. Surrender by Natalie Taylor is playing so I don’t worry about hooking my phone up to the Bluetooth system. I’ll listen to this song and then decide from there. It’s not like my phone won’t already be connected.
Rolling the window on my side down, I let the fresh air fill the car and surround me. There’s a chill in the air, one I welcome. I keep my attention on the road instead of letting my mind wander. The last thing I need to do is hurt someone else because I’m not paying attention while behind the wheel. That’s something I’d never be able to forgive myself for.
It doesn’t take us long to make our way to the grocery store. The parking lot is packed today for some reason. I find a spot as close to the building as I can before getting out. Rich actually parks his bike directly behind my car. He’s never done that before.
“What are you doing?” I question him.
“Not goin’ inside with you. I’ll stay here and watch the car,” he informs me, getting comfortable on his bike.
Shrugging my shoulders, I leave him alone and make my way inside. Just before I walk through the second set of doors, I grab a cart that will be filled before too long. Killer and I have basically been picking up just what we need and not anything more than that. Today, I’ll try to get more