I’ve been scouring the help wanted ads in search of another job. There isn’t anything out there for me to do. Everyone wants experience of some sort and I don’t have it. My frustration levels are through the roof as I try in vain to find something for me to do in order to earn money. Killer has been helping me, well as much help as he can be. Today, he’s going to head into the clubhouse for an hour or two so he can talk to Slim about me finding work with the club. I’m not sure what I’d be doing, but it’s got to be better than sitting on my ass all day. I can’t stand that.
The house is almost spotless since I have so much time on my hands. It’s not like the house is dirty anyway. Killer is a neat freak and keeps things in their places. He’s always cleaning up after himself. And me if I’m in the middle of doing schoolwork or something. I feel bad when he does it, but he tells me to quiet and let him take care of me.
That’s another thing he does. When I’m doing schoolwork, he makes sure I eat and have snacks and drinks by me. If I have to get up for something, Killer tries his best to make sure I don’t have to so I can concentrate on the work I’m trying to get done. At this point, I think if he could go to the bathroom with me, he’d do it. Just to prove he’s going to be by my side and support me no matter what.
While I appreciate everything Killer’s been doing over the last few days, sometimes I feel as if he’s smothering me. There has to be some give and take if we’re ever going to work. He can go to the clubhouse and hangout without me losing myself or becoming too clingy for him. I’m not going to automatically assume he wants to be with the house bunnies because he’s there. He can go have a few drinks with the guys and play pool or whatever it is they do.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about what I want to do moving forward. Part of what I’ve been thinking is learning some self-defense. One of the reasons I never fought back against my father and Neil or anyone in his house is because I knew I’d never land any moves on them. If I knew how to get out of situations or do some moves, I’d feel confident about someone bothering me. Though, I’d always hope I would never have to use anything I learn. That’s something I’ll have to talk to Killer about. He’ll know more about where I can go to learn it than I will. I’m not even sure if there’s a gym in Benton Falls.
While Killer’s gone to the clubhouse for a while this morning, I make sure I’m up to date with all of my schoolwork. Once I know everything is taken care of for school, I go to the dating website. I’m going to deactivate it. If Killer and I are doing something leading to a relationship, there’s no way I’m going to mess it up by leaving my account up.
Going into my account, I hear the front door open. Killer shouldn’t be back this early.
“Gwen, where are you?” Sam calls out.
“In the living room,” I respond, not sure why she can’t see me already since I see her.
“What are you doing? Schoolwork?” she questions me, coming up next to me at the small desk I sometimes use.
“Deleting my profile on here,” I tell her, looking up at my friend.
“Didn’t take long for Killer to make his move I see.”
“I have no clue what’s going on honestly,” I reply, thoroughly confused about the entire situation.
“Oh my God!” Sam suddenly says, looking at the computer screen.
“What?”
“Look at that username,” Sam says, pointing at a guy on the screen.
His name on the dating website is GitMeDun. Sam is laughing her ass off while I’m sitting here trying to figure out what the hell is so funny about that name. I’d ask her, but she’s having such a hard time even trying to catch her breath right now I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. So, I continue scrolling down to see if there are any other funny ones. FatBikerBalls, YesYesOhYes, and MuffinThumper are among the few I’m seeing. Sam is still dying next to me