"Look, I understand why you pulled me back from death. Your mission —"
"Was only part of the reason," he cut in. There was a flicker of either fury or frustration in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. But a muscle along the side of his jaw pulsed, a sure sign of annoyance.
I took a deep breath and plowed on regardless. "The mission to reclaim the keys has always been first and foremost in your thoughts, and your actions have always reflected this. I should not have reacted as I did, in anger and sorrow."
He didn't say anything, just continued to regard me steadily.
I took another deep, steadying breath. It still wasn't helping. "So, I apologize for reacting as I did, and for sending you away."
"But?" It was practically growled.
"But," I added, "I think you owe me both an apology and an explanation. Not only did your actions rob me of all my future lives, but given I am the only one who can find the keys here on Earth, my death would have meant they'd remain unfound. Both our worlds would have been safe, Azriel, and isn't that what we're both trying to achieve?"
"The problem," he said, voice flinty, "is that your death would not have meant the keys were safe. If I hadn't reacted as I did, the Raziq – and in particular, Malin – would have called you back from the path of light and, in doing so, would have had control over both you and your actions."
I frowned. "But if my body was dead and my soul had reached heaven —"
"It would not have mattered," he cut in. "The Aedh could have not only forced you back into this world, but into the flesh of another. It is your being, your soul, that is vital to finding the keys. The outer layer does not matter."
"Then why couldn't my father have just claimed another body and found the keys himself?"
"Because souls cannot be transferred at will. It can only occur at death."
"Then why didn't the Raziq just kill me? Wouldn't that have been easier for them?"
"They would not have done it unless there was little other choice. And they also know I would have killed you had they chosen such a path. Once dead a second time, your soul would have become one of the lost ones – inaccessible to both them and us."
A ghost, I thought with a shiver. At least I'd been saved from that. "So why is what you've done so very different?"