"The reaper has, and his link is far deeper than anything I have achieved. If you want to fear anything, fear that."
Before I could reply, before I could even digest the import of his words, he claimed my lips with a kiss that was as harsh as his lovemaking. From that moment on there was no more talking, only an intense and brutal sort of pleasure that swept me swiftly into rapture and then far beyond it.
For sometime afterward, I could only lie there, replete, exhausted, and still furious. But eventually, I pulled free from him, climbed out of bed, and strode to the shower.
"You’re angry," he said, sounding oddly surprised. Like he hadn’t just seduced the hell out of me in an effort to get what he desired—information, if not consent.
I flicked on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. After a second or two, he seemed to realize I had no intention of answering him, and sheets rustled as he climbed out of the bed.
"Don’t touch me," I said, long before he could. Not because of the anger, but because I knew that, once he did, I’d be putty in his hands again. I couldn’t resist him; or maybe I simply didn’t want to resist him. Either way, I simply wasn’t in the mood. I wanted to hang on to my anger just that little bit longer, even if it was stupid and unreasonable.
He stopped in the doorway and crossed his arms, leaning a powerful shoulder against the door frame. "I don’t understand why you feel this way."
He didn’t understand, and Azriel didn’t understand. Two sides of the same coin, and both of them incapable of giving me what I truly wanted.
And you knew this from the beginning, so what the hell is your problem? And what the hell do you want from the reaper?
Honesty, I thought. That’s what I want. That’s what I’ve always wanted.
I stepped under the water and raised my face to the needle-sharp spray, enjoying its sting against my skin. But I was also aware of the weight of Lucian’s gaze on me.
After a while, I reached for the small bottle of shampoo and finally met his gaze. "I’m sick of people not telling me truth, Lucian. Everyone is playing their own game, and everyone is using me to do it, and yet no one is bothering to fill me in on all the details. And it’s pissing me off."
"I only have one endgame, that I can promise you."
I raised an eyebrow. "Revenge?"
"Yes." His expression hadn’t changed, but suddenly there was something very dark about him—something deep and dangerous and alien. This was the man I knew, and yet it wasn’t, because this version was consumed by a hatred so deep it was breathtaking. He will do anything, absolutely anything, to get his revenge. And that knowledge chilled me even more than the alien darkness. "And I cannot see why you would not put that need to good use. If they attack en masse, you will need my help. And if they don’t, then you have lost nothing."