My heart hammered at the edge in his voice, and again I saw that fierceness. And suddenly, I realized why. "This is about revenge for what they did to you, isn’t it?"
His smile was a savage and wholly human thing. And it was yet more proof that Lucian was very different from other full-blooded Aedh.
"Totally. And if feeding my need helps your cause, why is that a bad thing?"
"So basically, your presence here isn’t about sex, but about gaining access to information on the Aedh that you might not otherwise get." Even as I said the words, bitterness swirled through me. It seemed everyone new in my life wanted something from me. Lucian, Azriel, the Raziq, even my father. They were here for a purpose rather than any real caring.
Lucian studied me. "In truth, are we not using each other? I have a need for revenge, and you have a need for information about the Aedh. While we each pursue our goals, we take our ease in each other’s bodies. I cannot see how that is not a worthwhile exchange."
Put that way, I guessed it was. Except that I thought he was a safe harbor, the one place I could go and not be on guard.
"You’re using the connection created through sex to steal information. That’s not right, Lucian."
"I did not know who you were or what you were involved in when I intervened in the fight between you and the Razan," he retorted. "It was only after we’d become intimate that I realized the truth and seized the opportunity to combine my desires. And do not doubt that I desire you, regardless of what else I might seek from you."
I couldn’t doubt his desire when the fierceness of it was pressed between us. It was a fierceness I fought to ignore, even though half of me wanted nothing more than to lose myself in the ecstasy of sex rather than a lingering sense of loss.
Although really, what had I actually lost? The truth was, we didn’t have anything in common other than an almost insatiable need for each other and great sexual chemistry. It was never going to be more than that, and I’d known that going in. He was Aedh, and they didn’t do emotions as we knew them. So why the hell was I angry?
I didn’t know. And there seemed to be a whole lot of that in my life of late, too. Between Lucian, Azriel, and my goddamn absent father, it was a wonder I wasn’t more of a mess than I was.
"How can I be really sure that you’re telling the truth?" I said, an edge in my voice.
"You can’t. But how can you be sure any of us is telling you the truth? Everyone has their own agenda, Risa, even the reaper who supposedly guards you."
He pressed his knee between my legs and moved them apart, then thrust himself deep inside. Despite my apprehension and anger, it felt so good that I wanted to moan. But I didn’t—though only because I was fiercely holding on to the need to question him. If I gave into pleasure, I’d be giving in to a whole lot more. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure what that more was.
"But not everyone has direct access to my mind," I said, my words a little breathless as he began to move, only—damn him—this was no slow seduction of the senses, but rather a ravishment filled with forceful and furious intent. And it felt so good that I had to battle to ignore the sensations threatening to engulf me.