usual childhood illnesses, such as measles, without our really noticing there was anything wrong with him. He had a phase as a teenager when he kept getting nosebleeds. But that passed. He always used to say he was so fit because life passed by so slowly.'
'What did he mean by that?'
'I've no idea.'
'But he can't have just died, surely, without warning? That doesn't happen.'
'It doesn't happen. But it happens even so. What doesn't happen is the worst that can happen.'
Louise suddenly felt furious over the fact that Nazrin had not started to cry. It was as if she were desecrating his memory.
'I want you to leave now,' she said.
'Why should I leave?'
'You came to see Henrik. He doesn't exist any more. So you should leave.'
'I don't want to leave.'
'I don't even know who you are. He's never said anything about you.'
'He told me he'd never mentioned me to you. "You can't live without secrets".'
'Is that what he said?'
'He said it was you who had taught him that.'
Louise's anger faded. She felt embarrassed.
'I'm afraid,' she said. 'I'm shaking. I've lost my only child. I've lost my own life. I'm sitting here waiting to fall to pieces.'
Nazrin stood up and went to the other room. Louise could hear her sobbing. She was away for some considerable time. When she came back, she had unbuttoned her coat and her dark eyes were red.
'We had decided to "go for the long walk". That's what we used to call it. We'd follow the river and head out of town for as long as we could manage. The rule was that we shouldn't say a word on the way out, but we could talk on the way back.'
'How come that you are called Nazrin but don't speak Swedish with a foreign accent?'
'I was born at Arlanda airport. We'd been hanging around there for two days, waiting to be allocated to some refugee camp or other. Mum gave birth to me on the floor next to passport control. It all went very quickly. I was born at the precise spot where Sweden begins. Neither Mum nor Dad had a passport, but as I was born on the floor there, I was awarded Swedish citizenship right away. An old passport officer still keeps in touch.'
'How did you and Henrik meet?'
'On a bus. We were sitting next to each other. He started laughing and pointed to something somebody had written in Indian ink next to the window. I didn't think it was funny at all.'
'What did it say?'
'I can't remember. Then he called on me at work. I'm a dental nurse. He'd stuffed cotton wool into his mouth and claimed that he had toothache.'
Nazrin took off her coat. Louise eyed her up and down and imagined her naked lying next to Henrik.
She reached out over the table and grasped Nazrin's arm.
'You must know something. I was in Greece. You were here. Did something happen? Did he change?'
'He was happy, happier than ever these last few weeks. I've never seen him so elated.'
'What had happened?'
'I don't know.'
Louise could tell that Nazrin was telling the truth. It's like digging down into complex strata, she thought. It can take even an experienced archaeologist some time to realise that they have come to a new cultural horizon. You can dig through these complex remains and only through analysis later can you realise the significance of what has been found.
'When did you notice this happiness?'
Nazrin's reply surprised her.
'When he came back home after a trip.'
'Where to?'
'I don't know.'
'Didn't he tell you where he was going to?'
'Not always. On this occasion he didn't say anything at all. I met him at the airport. He'd come from Frankfurt. But he'd started off from much further away than that. I don't know where.'
Louise felt a shooting pain, as if from a damaged tooth. Henrik had transferred in Frankfurt, just as she had done only the other day. She had come from Athens. Where had his aeroplane started from, before descending through the clouds over Germany?
'He must have said something. You must have noticed something. Was he tanned? Did he bring any gifts?'
'He said nothing at all. He has a more or less permanent tan. He was much happier than when he left. He never used to give me presents.'
'How long had he been away?'
'Three weeks.'
'But he didn't say where he'd been?'
'No.'
'When did this trip take place?'
'About two months ago.'
'Did he explain why he hadn't said anything about it?'
'He spoke about his "little secret".'
'Is that what he called