know what I want to know, Dylan.
I felt his instant withdrawal and it was not just that he'd taken his arms from around me. Even though we were still touching, I knew we'd lost connection. He was silent for several minutes while I waited patiently. Finally, I felt his presence again.
I wish you wouldn't go there, Lu.
But, why don't you want to talk about your family?
Because it hurts. He adjusted his position until he was looking in my eyes and I felt the devastation, which was reflected in his. It just hurts too much.
I knew there were hidden depths to this man I'd fallen in love with. Stuff he'd experienced before I'd ever come along. There were so many gaps in his life and I desperately needed to know more about him. His complete refusal to even discuss his past had been driving me nuts for several months now. I'd taken his refusal to talk to me as a sign that he didn't trust me. However, looking into his eyes and seeing the despair in them, I finally realized that what was going on inside him was bigger than me. It was probably bigger than him, too, and I decided to wait until he was ready to talk about it. Instead of asking him to trust me, I guess it was time I showed some trust of my own.
“Did I ever tell you about how I left London for the states?” I asked, trying to keep my voice as casual as possible.
He turned to look at me then. You don't have to do this, Lu.
“I haven't spoken to anyone about this.” I said, choosing to ignore him. “I know you read up on me when you were assigned as my bodyguard last year, but well...” I shrugged.
Lu, come on, sweetheart. You really don't have to talk about this.
I need to, Dylan. It's been festering inside me for so long and now that I'm back here, it all threatens to swallow me. I need to get it out so I can move on with my life.
He sat up then and leaning against the headboard, he held out a hand.
Then let me hold you while you talk.
I scrambled up to a sitting position and leaned into the protective circle of his arms. As always, anytime I was in his arms, I felt like I was finally home. It felt so right. I sighed and relaxed, but was silent for a while, trying to sort out my thoughts. He just held me and waited.
“You know about how I got away, right? I'd crawled into the vault at home to read a book, then I slept off. I woke up sometime later and immediately knew that something was desperately wrong. I left the vault and went upstairs. I could hear voices then. As I got closer, I heard my father's voice. He was pleading.”
I went silent as I relieved the horror of that day. I could feel nausea rising up and I pushed it back. I trembled slightly and Dylan's arms tightened around me. Feeling the strength coming from him, I took a deep breath and went on.
“I couldn't see what was going on, but I heard him pleading, asking them to spare Claudia's life. Claudia was my little sister; she was just eleven years old then. He told them that she was a child and knew nothing about it. But they claimed that his daughter had it and that if she didn't speak, she would go the way of the mother. That was when I knew my mom was gone. They'd killed her, I just knew it. I tried to search for her using telepathy but all I got was emptiness. There was a dark hole where her essence used to be.”
I could feel the tears trickling down my face. I bent my head and used my shoulder to try and rub them off, but they just kept coming faster. I choked down a sob and took a deep breath. When I'd achieved some semblance of calm, I went on.
“Just then I could feel my dad searching for me and I connected with him. He told me in a calm voice to go back to the vault and not come out. I wanted to know what was going on, what had happened to mom. But he just told me that he loved me and even when I couldn't see him, he would be there for me. Then he ordered me into the vault