sleeps so safe and comfortable beside me, I ache.
“This is why I kept my distance. Why I never engaged. Not only with you, but with everyone. With the world. I can’t…” I sigh, that tightness in my chest growing, becoming more constricting. “I could so easily fall in love with you again, London. Easier than breathing. I don’t want you to leave and it’s only been one fucking day. How will I survive if I let you in fully only to watch you go the way everyone else in my life has?”
I stare down at the picture in my lap, at the perfect likeness I’ve drawn because I perfected it a long time ago.
That’s when I feel it. The punch and the lack of wind in my lungs. My mind speeding up while simultaneously slowing down. The burn on my skin and the hum in my veins.
I never stopped loving her.
Not for a moment.
She’s it. Always has been and I have a choice.
Enjoy her for as long as I have her and earn my pain when she goes.
Or resist her and die in a swell of regret because no matter what, the pain is coming for me.
I close up my sketchpad, setting it on the coffee table beside her laptop, placing my charcoal pencil on top. I look around the room, at the space we’re in and though I want to carry her upstairs, this room is her heaven and I want to always remember her in it.
With me.
I take her feet back in my hands and I slide them over, moving her body until she’s flat on her back. She stirs, but not much and I hesitate, wondering if I should be a gentleman and let her sleep instead of the beast who is gearing up to devour her whole.
As beautiful as she looks like this, I don’t have the luxury of time to waste. She can sleep later; I’ll make sure she’s nice and tired when she falls asleep beside me tonight.
Sucking in a shuttering breath, I crawl up toward her, taking her hand and planting a kiss on the inside of her wrist. She smells like her body lotion and my dick stirs awake as my heart begins to gallop and my lips buzz with anticipation.
“Firefly,” I whisper. I hadn’t realized I said her nickname that night, but it doesn’t surprise me either. Now the time for pretenses is gone. She knows my truth. Knows how much I want her. How much I’ve always wanted her. I slide up the thin material of her sweater and kiss the crook of her elbow. “Are you awake?”
Her breathing has changed so I know she is.
Her eyes flutter open, deep pools of purple that rob me of my senses as they grow darker before me.
“Tell me to stop if you don’t want me to continue.”
Her other hand reaches up and she drags her fingers through my hair to the back of my head. My eyes close at her touch, my skin snapping with heat and electricity and need. A craving so deep there is no sating it.
“Miles,” she whispers my name in the softest of breaths and I reply by crashing my lips to hers, greedy as I hungrily take her for my own. She opens for me, deepening our exchange and I lower my body onto hers, shifting to remove some of my weight and kissing her with abandon.
Like the crazed, love-sick fool I am with her.
My hands cup her face, tilting her as I pepper her lips and cheeks with soft, sweet kisses before diving back in, my tongue stroking hers. Her hands grasp my shoulders, fisting at the cotton of my shirt as her teeth scrape my bottom lip. The groan on my lips turns into a growl as she starts to grind up against me, rubbing my rock-hard cock through my jeans and driving me insane.
I sit her up, my lips trailing down her jaw and neck, deep, open-mouthed, wet kisses that have her moaning, her head tilting back in pleasure. My hands sink beneath the hem of her sweater, caressing her warm, silky skin. But more importantly, giving her the choice to say no.
As if reading my thoughts, her chin drops, breaking our connection and smiling into my eyes. “Are we having a change of heart?”
I grin, leaning forward and rubbing my nose with hers, stealing a quick kiss because I don’t know how to stop kissing her. Her mouth is my wonderland. “Definitely not.”
“Then