And even though I feel mentally and physically exhausted, I still can’t shut my brain off to sleep.
“No. Let’s try to get to the car. I want to get out of this state so we can be safe again,” I say.
“Alright, I’m feeling better. So let’s get ready.”
I nod and start organizing the packs. I get us both some food out which I’m happy to see he eats a little more of than last night. We originally packed the bags for two people to carry, but there’s no way he can carry a backpack on his back—the strap would go right over the wound—so I take everything out of both bags and pack all of the essentials into my bag.
“You can still fill mine, I’ll just hang on to it with one arm,” he says.
So I give him the light stuff that would take up room in mine. Then I zip both bags before noticing the third pack. This one was meant for a dog to wear and had essentials for Bear that he could carry.
“He’ll be fine,” Shepherd says, noticing what I’m looking at.
I nod, even though I want to tell him that he doesn’t know if he’ll be fine or not. That he might have gotten shot back at the cabin and instead of helping him, we left him behind, and that thought kills me.
I leave his pack behind and help Shepherd out. He’s slow but the bleeding stopped when I changed the bandage and some color has returned to his face.
“If you get tired at all, I’ll carry you again,” I say.
He smiles at me. “I could get used to this, you know? Being treated like a king. What will you do for me next?”
“Once you’re healed this goes back to me lazing around and you doing everything, alright?” I ask.
He grins at me. “Alright, alright.”
“And you have to do dishes every day.”
He grimaces. “You know I hate dishes.”
“Exactly.”
He seems to be thinking for a moment. “So basically, you’re punishing me for getting shot? Being wounded wasn’t punishment enough?”
“Hmmm… no. I don’t think so. See, I had to stress and worry about you all night long, and that’s much worse.”
“You’re right, it is.”
“So when we get somewhere safe, I get to torture you.”
He gives me a grin. “Oh, you’re a kinky boy.”
“We get to eat what I want and do what I want and watch what I want.”
“So you want to be a dictator?”
“Yes!”
“Splendid. I’m so glad I can fulfill your fantasies of being evil.”
“Me too,” I say. “Joking aside, are you doing alright? You sure you don’t want me to carry you?”
“I am. I felt your arms quivering yesterday.”
“Shut up! I’m strong and mighty!”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
“My arm strength is beyond amazing. That quivering you felt was my arms annoyed at how little weight they had to carry. They were revolting against it.”
Shepherd gives an understanding nod. “Makes complete sense.”
“Thank you. So say we break through these trees and on the other side is like eutopia where everything is perfect and no one is against us, what do you want to do?” I ask.
“Eutopia? Well… from every book and movie I’ve ever read or watched it actually turns out it’s a dystopia and then suddenly we’re the main characters who set about saving the lives of all of humanity.”
“Oh no…”
“What?” he asks.
I look him in the eyes when I say, “Humanity is gonna die. I’m sorry but only caring about myself is hard enough.”
Shepherd starts laughing before shaking his head. “Don’t make me laugh. The shaking hurts.”
“Don’t get me started on trying to keep you alive. I paid you to keep me alive and here I am, doting over you.”
His eyes get wide. “Because I was shot?”
“I think I want a refund.”
“If I wasn’t hurt right now, I’d put your spoiled ass on the ground so fast.”
I grin at him. “Do your weak little legs need me to carry you again?”
“Do you mind me asking how strong your neck is to hold up your ego?”
“So you’ve been checking out my neck, eh? Like what you see?” I ask with a wink.
“Yeah, it looks very necky. Kind of reminds me of a chicken’s neck, if I’m being honest.”
“Well, try not being honest, because that’s definitely not how you should talk to the most important person in your life.”
“True. Let’s both try to say one nice thing about each other. Killian, I liked how valiant you were when you carried me even if