He nods. “Do you know of any family we can contact?”
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t. I know his wife passed.”
He asks me a few more questions before letting me head off after I give him the excuse that I need to get to work or I’ll be in trouble. As I drive home, I call Shepherd to let him know what’s happening.
Twenty-Two
“So… he knows,” Shepherd says as he sits at the kitchen table. Bear and Buddy are wrestling as loudly as they can in the living room.
“He acted like he’s known for a while. He was pretty out of it, but… do you think we should be worried?”
“Maybe,” he admits. “We should probably have a game plan for a different location.”
I want to tell him that I don’t want to go anywhere else—that this has become more of a home to me than my own house ever was—but I know that’s being selfish.
Shepherd must sense my reluctance because he gives me a soft smile. “I know Dave said he wouldn’t tell, and he hasn’t so far, but you were seen today, and we can’t risk it. I’m going to see what I can do to find us a different place. Maybe even Dave has a different place for us.”
“How are you going to even look around? You’re worried about us leaving this place. What happens when we start wandering around again? Isn’t it safer to stay here?”
Shepherd rubs at his head and I can tell he’s getting frustrated. “Killian… I just don’t know. It’s so hard for me to tell you what’s safer or the better option. We can only hope that since a month has passed they’ve gotten quieter and have stopped looking for us, but I doubt that’ll happen. We can’t be that lucky.” He sighs. “Anyway, there’s nothing more we can do tonight, so let’s just relax and enjoy our time here.”
“Want to sit in the hot tub?”
“Sure,” he says. “Leave the dogs in here so we don’t have to watch them in case Buddy decides to take off after a squirrel like earlier today.”
I grin at the memory. “You didn’t like racing around the yard yelling ‘You bitch fuck dog leave the squirrel alone’?”
He avoids my eyes. “Hmm… I remember none of that,” he says as he heads outside to the back deck that overlooks the forest. It’s a beautiful area, one that I’ll miss if we have to leave it.
Shepherd takes all but his boxer briefs off before climbing in and I follow after him, sitting on the opposite side of him, even though I want to sit beside him. I feel like I still just don’t know what’s right or what will make him uncomfortable and I’d rather not risk it. Instead, I sink into the warm water as the jets make it bubble around us.
“I know… I know I’m disappointed about leaving, but as long as you stay with me, I’ll go wherever we need to go,” I assure him.
He looks up at me and smiles. “I’m not leaving you. I’m flattered that I’m practically fucking amazing in your eyes,” he teases.
I make sure he notices me grimacing. “I know, it disgusts me too, but I can’t help it when my brain shorts out.”
He grins as he holds his hand out to me and I instantly reach out to him. His fingers interlock with mine as he pulls me through the water and onto his lap. His left hand stays linked with mine as his right arm wraps around my back. He kisses my neck before tucking his head against it.
I feel like something’s weighing on him, or something’s wrong, but I don’t know what to say, so I just let the moment sit, because when I’m in his arms, I feel like everything will be all right.
“Why do you bother liking me?” Shepherd asks.
What is he going on about now? “It’s not a ‘bother’ liking you. Why do you act like the most confident man alive but when it comes to us, you seem to think I’m crazy for liking you? I really like you, Shepherd. I don’t care if we never have sex. None of that bothers me because when I’m with you, you make me feel like I’m a real person and not an object. You treat me like I’m special… like I’m someone to be cared about. You make me laugh and smile and roll my eyes, and I love every moment of it. And