become one with the ledge of the tub. My body hangs over it, defeated, broken, and unsavable. Despair is prepared to consume me.
“There we go,” he says as he starts drying my head.
I have not yet decided if I want to face reality or just remain here for eternity.
“Killian? Oh no, I think I killed kinky Killian.”
“Don’t use alliteration with my name.”
“I only kid when I speak with kindness, Killian.”
“Go away,” I say while trying not to laugh. “You’re so strange.”
He forces me to roll over, then sits on my lap as he dries my hair. “Thanks,” he says as he ruffles my hair, but now all I can think about is his body this close to mine. I want to reach out and touch him, but I don’t know what’s off limits. Does he mind if I pull him close? Does he like kissing? Does he just want to torture me by sitting on my lap while I fight off all desire for him and my head burns?
I’m positive it’s that one. That’s definitely how this goes. Shepherd is definitely a torture-first kind of guy.
He pulls the towel off, clearly oblivious to what he’s doing to me, and runs his fingers through my hair.
“I like it. It’s not too blond. It’s wet so it looks darker but more like a dirty blond.”
“I feel like a dirty blond alright,” I say which makes him finally look away from my hair to gaze down at me.
“You probably should have taken a shower, but we have things to do first,” he says, like I was talking about that dirty.
“You’re the world’s biggest tease.”
He winks at me. “Thanks.”
He nonchalantly gets up and heads into the kitchen, so I stand and stare at my hair in the mirror. Thankfully, my hair’s long enough the random chunks of missing hair aren’t even noticeable… at least from this angle.
“Killian! We need to hunt for supper since I only got us pudding and cookies!”
Unsure whether he’s serious or not, I quickly step out of the bathroom. “I will not eat anything you hunt.”
His grin tells me he’s thankfully teasing. “I’m joking. I did get more food. It’s in the bottom of the fridge. But for now, we’re going for a hike. I want to get a feel of the area in case we need to run on foot or hide, got it?”
“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”
“Perfect, let’s head out, then. Come on, Bear, your buddy Killian wants you to come along.”
“In the hopes he runs off,” I mutter.
After a long afternoon of Shepherd making circles around the cabin, getting farther and farther away with each pass, I’m exhausted. I’ve had more exercise in this past week than I’ve had since my track and field days in school. By the time I’m in bed, my body aches and I feel like I could sleep for days. Although, that might be from my arm being twisted at an odd angle, or my other arm being stabbed, or being punched countless times, chased, dragged, tied up, stuffed in a trunk… my god, it’s endless.
“Why do you look angry?” Shepherd says as he strips off all his clothes and climbs in bed. It wasn’t even a discussion if one of us would sleep in the other room. But maybe that was my fault since I made a dash for the big bed and Shepherd just lazily followed after me. Probably to tempt and torture me.
“Because you refuse to wear underwear.”
“I’m not wearing underwear to bed.”
It’s like he’s determined to destroy me. “No, I was just thinking about all the bullshit of these last few days. My life has been the definition of chaos.”
“You sure do add excitement to my life,” he says.
I roll onto my side as Shepherd turns the light out. “Do you regret saving me?”
“Why would I regret saving you?” Shepherd asks. I can only vaguely see him from the glow of the moon peeking through the window.
“Your entire life has been turned upside down because of me. You had to leave everything.”
He reaches out and sets a hand against my cheek. “There wasn’t much to leave,” he says. “And maybe what I left it for will turn out to be better.”
I push myself toward him before hesitating. “Does it bother you if I touch you?”
“Nope. The only thing that bothers me is the bald spot on the back of your head,” he says as he gives my hair a little tug.