What had happened to her to create the need for that strength? These walls?
Orion licked his lips, considering his words very carefully.
“There was a period of my life when your assumption would have been correct. But, at that time I lived in California. I’d like to think I was a different person. When I came home—here—I wanted a change. I haven’t been that man for some time. Given my family’s history and the stories people share about my family? I’m not surprised that’s what you’d think of me. I won’t lie. I’d have hoped you’d have judged me on my actions instead.”
Now her cheeks did tinge pink and her head dropped. She looked at her hands resting on her crossed ankles.
“Wow. Go for the throat, don’t you?” She squinted at him. “I deserve that, I think.”
“I’m not trying to go for the throat. I don’t want to draw blood at all, unless you’re into that.”
“What?” She sputtered a laugh and shook her head. “No.”
He grinned.
If she could laugh, they were on better ground already.
Jennifer drew in a deep breath and pushed her shoulders back. She lifted her gaze to his. “You’re right, though. I think I’ve judged you harshly. You’ve always been very kind.”
“Part of that is clearly my fault. I assumed a comfort level you didn’t share.”
“No, I don’t think that’s your fault.” She shifted and leaned back on the padded, low wall. She closed her eyes briefly, as if readying herself. “Like any other woman, I guess I have issues that aren’t your fault.”
“Care to tell me about them?”
She studied him. The sea breeze toyed with her hair, blowing it over her shoulder to tickle her chin.
“It’s not a nice story,” she warned.
He looked at her seriously and dove into the most personal parts of his life. “My parents died in a terrifying, fiery blaze. I don’t trust small planes because every time I’ve been in one, I think about how they died. I’m an absolute control freak because of my brother. I think all the time, if I’d watched after him more, if I’d been with him, less judgmental, would he still be alive? He had to leave the house to drink and party. Even smoking a joint. We’d fought about that the day before he died, and for the rest of my life I’ll wonder if I played a role in his death. We all have our darkness.”
“Wow. Okay.” Jennifer blew out a breath. “When I was like, thirteen, my step-father murdered my little sister. Based on the investigation, he was trying to...”
She opened and closed her mouth.
Orion reached over and took her hand. She glanced at him and he could see pain glistening in her green eyes. “He told police he was going to do things to her that a man shouldn’t do to a little girl. She fought back, made too much noise, and he strangled her to death to keep her from waking up our mother. And me. The whole thing tore my family apart. I had to go live with my grandparents after that and never saw my mother again. She decided to blame my sister for it, which makes no sense. She was eight. The courts told my mother she couldn’t stay with her husband and keep me. She picked him and I’ve never seen her since. I lived with my maternal grandparents until I was eighteen. They weren’t crazy about the arrangement, but they weren’t going to let me go into the system either.”
Orion wasn’t sure what he’d thought she might say, but that wasn’t it. He felt each word like a punch to the gut, and it hadn’t happened to him.
There was pain in her eyes now. “I suppose that’s where it all begins. It seems like every time I try getting close to a man, it always turns ugly. So, I look at you and wonder, how would this get ugly? What are you hiding?”
He reached over and took her hand. Her words were matter of fact, but they likely glossed over a lifetime of pain. She was so damn strong,, and he hated that she’d had to be. He hated that she’d lost so much in her life. “Nothing. Ask me anything.”
She stared at him for a moment while twining her fingers with his. It was a casual gesture, and yet he had the sudden realization that even that was monumental for her.
“Why me? I don’t get it. I haven’t exactly been nice to you at times.”
Ah,