Just Breathe Again - Mia Villano Page 0,14

to hers, was impossible to tolerate, even after two years. The long talks and the steamy sex were not going to ever happen again. The despair of wanting him back was so strong she would cry and scream alone in her room until her whole body hurt.

Praying didn’t help her, and she even quit going to mass. She and Vince attended St. Bernard’s Catholic Church and Father Dave tried to get her involved again in church activities, but Jeannie didn’t care much anymore. Everything reminded her of Vince and the life they shared. Vince loved to cook out on the grill no matter what the weather. The smell of someone cooking on a grill would send her into hysterics. The sound of a motorcycle would have her on the floor begging God to make her understand why this had to happen to them. She didn’t get an answer, so she quit asking.

~~~~~~

Arriving at work and snapping out of her daydream, the reality of her present life hit her like a ton of bricks. Jeannie had to stop the rushing around every morning. Until recently she made her way to work on time. But, this couldn’t go on. She needed to talk to Lydia about her slow moving. Jeannie didn’t understand what the holdup was every day. Lydia was not dressing up, and looked like she didn’t care anymore. She had to call the doctor on her lunch hour, and see if they could see her.

Her boss, Darlene Strewn, addressed her being late twice last week and would be pissed she was late again. She had to go to her office every morning to get her work assignments, and Jeannie hated to go in there. Her dreary office reeked of Old Spice cologne and garlic.

Darlene stuffed a cream stick in her mouth while she talked. “I’m punctual and I expect my workers to be as well. Do you see what time it is right now, Miss Franklin? I see you had time to stop and grab a coffee before strolling in here.” Darlene was a hefty woman, and she dressed like one of the guys. She wore khaki pants, a golf shirt, and clunky men’s shoes every day. Her short crew cut hairstyle told everyone she was no one to bully or try to pull a fast one over. A lot of the guys called her the Beast Master behind her back and she had no idea.

“I’m sorry, Darlene, I’m trying to get used to this work life and my children are snails in the morning. We are trying to adjust,” said Jeannie.

“I understand. I expect you to make a better effort after today. We all have had deaths in the family and shit we have to deal with. My mother died last year and I didn’t miss a day. It’s something you’re going to have to fix. I mean, my God, didn’t you say he died two years ago? Get free counseling through the temp agency or go on a date, something. Would you like a donut to go with your coffee?” she asked, gesturing to a box that originally held six and was now holding one.

“No, thank you,” Jeannie said. Darlene took her refusal as an open invitation to eat the last one and once again, in two bites as the cream seeped out her thin lips.

Jeannie grabbed her work and began walking towards the door. “I will have a talk with my children tonight, Darlene. I will have to lay the law down on them.”

Darlene took a swig of her coffee. “Get here on time Monday, Jeannie.” Jeannie nodded, wondering what she could do to get Lydia moving faster. She couldn’t afford to lose that job.

Since Jeannie had no experience, she had to go to a temp agency and get skills before they placed her. She took a basic Microsoft class and brushed up on her Windows knowledge. The trucking company was the only one to hire her without experience. The place was depressing, and everyone worked there for years and looked like zombies. Each one of them looked as miserable as the next, counting the days down till Friday. Her current work situation only added to her depression and miserable life.

After almost ten hours of working, she ventured to the local grocery store and used her coupons to buy what little food she could afford. Every Friday, when Vince was still alive, she and Lydia liked to go out to eat for a mother and daughter weekly