kind, you got away from rehearsals in time!’ She was so amazed and thrilled to see him, she added another pinch of chilli.
‘I’ve just been hearing about my Millennium Cup,’ said Valent, also appearing in the doorway. ‘Didn’t know you’d been tending my roses as well,’ he chuckled. ‘Gives me a buzz to beat Ione and Debbie, and your garden looks smashing. Here, let me carry that,’ he said, taking the vast saucepan of chilli and putting it on the table outside. ‘I’m famished, didn’t have time for breakfast.’
‘Oh, please help yourself,’ Etta handed him a plate. ‘Let me get you another beer. I’m so thrilled you came.’
The result, alas, was a chilli hotter than hell. Caring Romy rushed back to the barn and returned with a big chicken pie she’d bought last week from Waitrose and defrosted in the microwave. She took the opportunity to change into a ravishing strapless white dress, which showed a lot of leg and cleavage.
‘I was too hot before.’
‘Like the chilli,’ said Seth.
Most of the syndicate had fortunately brought quiches and pies.
But Valent valiantly, among others, ploughed his way through the chilli, his eyes watering, his face growing redder and redder.
‘It’s quite inedible, Mother,’ said Carrie, picking at a slice of Painswick’s quiche. ‘If you had fewer guests, I’d whisk them off to a restaurant.’
A mortified Etta rushed round, apologizing frantically and offering people glasses of water. She was then amazed to discover that Joey had dumped a crate of champagne brought by Valent in the kitchen. People were soon knocking this back to cool themselves down.
Much of the rejected chilli ended up in the long grass along the north side of Valent’s conifer hedge, where it was finished up by Chisolm, Cadbury and Priceless until real tears poured out of their eyes. Mrs Wilkinson was in heaven, however, bustling about chatting to all her friends, resting her head on their shoulders, shaking hooves, peeling bananas to order, sipping champagne. Chisolm, already pissed, was butting people in the backside.
‘Where’s Tilda?’ asked Painswick.
‘Coming,’ said Pocock. ‘She’s got a lot of lessons to prepare.’
Inadvertently, Tilda had recently upset both Romy and Carrie, telling the former that Drummond was developing into a bit of a bully, and his language should be watched.
‘Doesn’t get that from our house,’ Romy had snapped. ‘Must be listening to my mother-in-law’s builder friends.’
Tilda had been coaching Trixie, and told Alan that the child was desperate for her mother’s approval. ‘She’s really clever, she just needs a reason to succeed, some interest in her future, not just rants when she fails.’
Alan, in a row last night, had been unwise enough to pass this on to Carrie.
‘Doesn’t Wilkie look well,’ said Valent, as she nudgingly followed him round.
‘I think the feng shui in the office really worked on her,’ Etta couldn’t resist saying.
Valent grinned. ‘Bonny says I have an excess of Yang.’
‘They try to tell us we’re too yang,’ said Etta. ‘Do you remember? Sung by Jimmy Young, or Yang?’ she giggled. ‘How is Bonny? I’m so sorry about the chilli.’
‘It was fine, it’s a lovely party.’
Looking round his field he could see Niall, back from Matins, sitting on the grass with Woody and talking to Joey and Chrissie. Chris was opening bottles and buttling.
Valent next questioned Painswick about the yard. ‘Marius has gone to Uttoxeter,’ she said. ‘He works so hard, but he’s so thrilled about Furious.’
So was Valent, who’d secretly bought him.
Direct Debbie even congratulated Etta on her garden.
‘To grow those plants with so little sun is impressive. I’ll give you my scarlet kniphofia Percy’s Pride to brighten things up a bit.’
Rafiq, still dazed from having such a long and encouraging conversation with Valent, lay on his back looking up at lemonyellow flowers of traveller’s joy. Josh, handsome, tanned and just back from a week in Portugal, didn’t know how to handle Trixie, who he had to admit was looking well fit. Lester was bending the Major’s ear.
‘I want Mrs Wilkinson in my Godiva film. If she can canter around the orchard, she can carry Cindy for a week or so.’
Seth was talking to Trixie.
‘Valent is too old for jeans,’ he was saying dismissively, ‘particularly with those great muscular footballer’s thighs.’
‘He looks pretty cool for a coffin-dodger,’ said Trixie, who was looking at Josh and deciding she was still mad about him.
82
Etta poured drink after drink, continuing to apologize for the chilli. At least everyone loved her crumbles and the salads had gone down well.