in my left eye and two in my right. They were able to remove them.” He gulped, flinching at the memory of his eyes on fire, his face filled with tiny lead pellets, the scalpel and tweezers plucking them out until the drugs kicked in and he passed out from the intense pain and welcome relief. There were still some pellets of birdshot there, lodged in bone or too deep in the muscle to get at. He’d have them forever. “But they did a lot of damage. Lot of damage. Even after several surgeries, they weren’t able to restore my vision. Ophthalmologist said he’d go another two or three rounds, but he was honest with me—it was a matter of degrees at this point. I’d maybe get a slight bit of the peripheral back or—or some slight measure of the distance. Not enough to matter. I called uncle. I’d had enough.”
She took a deep breath and held it a moment before he heard her release it. When she spoke, he could tell that she was trying hard not to cry. “What…um, I mean, where were you living during that time?”
“Here. In Philly.” He shook his head. “I took early retirement and disability. Blind man ain’t much good to the force.”
“And who was—I mean, who was looking after you?”
“I was lookin’ after me,” he said, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the softness of the skin on the back of her hand.
“You were all alone?”
Gard looked out the window and sighed, shaking his head. His voice held an edge of warning he couldn’t help. “Don’t pity me, Jax.”
She cleared her throat and lifted her chin. “I don’t. I’m just mad at your mother and sisters.”
Looking back over at her, he chuckled with surprise. “Is that right?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed. “They couldn’t come up and give you a hand? Take care of you?”
“I could still walk and talk, cher.”
“But you couldn’t see. You couldn’t drive. And you were in pain. I would’ve…I would’ve…”
“What would you have done, Jax?”
“I would have been here. I would have taken care of you!”
His stomach flipped over and he held the breath in his lungs, the fierce promise of her words affecting him more deeply than she could ever imagine. She was kind and loyal, strong and good. She was a fucking work of art, this woman. And for tonight, at the very least, she was with him.
Finally he exhaled, concentrating to keep his voice even. “I didn’t want them here playing nursemaid. I did okay on my own.”
“With bandages covering your eyes? And constant doctors’ appointments? You lost your partner. You lost your job. You were shot in the face. Oh! I could scream!”
“Take a breath, Duchess. It’s okay,” he said, adjusting their fingers to hold hers tighter. “I wasn’t all alone. Gil’s sister, Mary, kept an eye on me. Drove me around. Took me to the hospital. Bought me groceries.”
“Oh,” said Jax, flicking a sour glance at him. “How kind.”
Gard nodded. “Yes, she is.”
“Is?”
“Alive and well.”
“His married sister?”
“Very unmarried,” said Gard, guiltily loving every bit of her jealousy. But merde, it was hot as hell.
“She spent a lot of time helping you?”
“She did.”
“Morning, noon, and…night, I guess.”
“You guess right, Duchess.”
She wrangled her fingers from his, clamping them around the wheel. “Well, thank goodness for sister Mary,” she muttered, fuming.
“Mon dieu! Do you know her too?”
“Know her? No!”
“Because that’s exactly what I call her. Sister Mary. Because, you know, she’s a nun.”
“W-What?” She shot him a quick look before sliding her eyes back to the highway. Her lips twitched, though she tried to stop them from turning up into a smile. “You’re a jerk.”
He reached for her hand, gently prying it away from the wheel and drawing it to his lips. Kissing the soft skin gently, he murmured, “Aw, Duchess, if you saw the way your emeralds flash when you get a little jealous? Glory Lord, you’d understand. You’d even forgive me.”
She didn’t look at him, but her tongue darted out to lick her lips and she didn’t pull her hand away. “My…emeralds?”
“Your eyes. Tes yeux, j’en reve jour et nuit.”
I dream of your eyes day and night.
His crush on her was making him goddamned cheesy. But Jax? His duchess? She didn’t seem to mind a bit. Her cheeks pinkened and she razed her bottom lip with her teeth.
He opened her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. “Do that again and I’ll make you pull over so I can kiss you again.”
“We’re on the