Joker (Hell's Ankhor #8) - Aiden Bates Page 0,72

downstairs to make coffee.”

Brennan blinked his eyes open. He frowned a little, like he wasn’t sure if he believed me. “Really?”

A little pang of guilt shot through me. “I’m not trying to sneak out.” I leaned down and kissed his temple. “Honestly. I just didn’t want to wake you up.”

I couldn’t blame him for wondering if I would, though—I’d been so hot and cold, and I’d run off on him before. That was over now, though. I’d stay right by his side as long as he wanted me there.

Brennan woke up fully then, stretched, then propped himself up on one elbow with his face in his hand. “You okay this morning?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Better, at least. Thank you. Thank you for coming to the cemetery yesterday. I didn’t—I didn’t realize how badly I wanted to see you until you showed up.”

“Heath told me to,” Brennan admitted. “He called me.”

“That kid is smarter than he looks,” I said, flushing a little. Gratitude mixed with a little embarrassment curled in my chest. I’d treated him so badly, and still, he’d reached out to Brennan for me. He’d known what I needed, even when I wasn’t willing to ask for it. Because that’s what family did.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me to be there,” Brennan said, quietly. “I kind of expected you to tell me to go away.”

My heart flipped in my chest. He’d taken a risk coming to the cemetery after I’d gone to great lengths to try to not need him. But he’d tried anyway. This whole time Brennan had kept reaching out to me, over and over. He’d been patient, and understanding, and let me go at my own pace. The least I could do now was reach back—even if it scared me.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I know I’ve been kind of… hot and cold. Definitely not the easiest guy to be with.”

It was easier to talk about it like this, still curled together under his comforter, with the soft morning sunlight slanting in. It felt safe. Brennan kept his arm swung over my waist and just listened patiently, like he always did. So I swallowed my fears: my fear of rejection, of loss, of simply being known.

“But I do want this,” I said.

“This?” Brennan asked.

“You,” I said. “I want to be with you.” Saying it out loud made my heart twist—a good kind of aching hurt, like an old wound finally healing. Being vulnerable with Brennan was hard but it was getting easier every day. I huffed a laugh. “Even if I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

Brennan smiled. “Well, you’re in luck.” He kissed me gently. “Because I want to be with you, too.”

I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. “Really?”

“Hell, yeah,” Brennan said. “You’re not getting rid of me now.”

Relief—and happiness—flooded me. But he deserved more than just me saying I wanted him. That was bare minimum. I found that I wanted to explain everything. I wanted him to know me. All of me.

“Can I tell you something?” I asked.

“Of course,” Brennan said. “Anything.”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. Somehow, he always made it so easy to talk to him.

“I just want to explain. I wasn’t—I wasn’t trying to keep secrets from you. About… well, what I’m about to tell you. Nobody knew.” I paused and took a deep breath. It was still hard to talk about, but I finally wanted to tell Parker’s—and my own—story. Fully. “Parker never had an easy fight with cancer. And we didn’t have a lot of money for the treatments. Everything my folks got went to the bills. So I had to help out, too, just to make sure we all had enough to eat.”

Brennan nodded, his face falling as he brushed strands of hair off my forehead.

“I ended up leaving school at fourteen,” I said. “But even the years before that, I wasn’t really succeeding, you know? I was there, but I was so busy with work and taking care of the house and of Parker, that I was just flunking. Couldn’t pay attention to the lessons, and barely understood them when I tried, because I was already too lost.”

With a sigh, I sat up I the bed, leaning heavily against the headboard. Brennan did the same, sitting next to me, and pressed his shoulder against mine. He took my hand in his, toying with my fingers idly as he listened. The contact made it easier to speak.

“So I pretty much stopped learning when I was