always thinking about others and how to take care of them. Even if what you came up with was misguided, your heart was in the right place.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. His eyes slid away.
“Don’t.” Justin forced his gaze back up. “In Paris, we said we’d figure it out. You told me you weren’t coming out, not while you were playing, and I was okay with that. I knew what I was signing up for. I didn’t know how crazy it would get when you were named one of the top players in the country, but that wouldn’t have sent me running. I was more invested than that. It would take a lot more than that to get me to leave.”
“What about stalkers coming after you? What if being together is dangerous—”
Justin kissed him, shutting him up. “No. Not that either. I would have stayed at your side through all of it. If you came out, or if you didn’t. If someone found out. If things went horrible. If you lost your scholarship. There’s nothing that would have broken me away from you.”
Wes’s heart was hammering, and warning signs were flashing in his mind. He chewed on his words, ground his teeth together. “You keep using the past tense.”
“You hurt me,” Justin whispered. “You hurt me like I’ve never been hurt before.”
“I know.” Wes did hide his face then, looking down, his chin buried in his chest. “God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t even talk to me. You just made up your mind on your own. And I get it, you were trying to protect me, but… you didn’t. And I’m trying, I really am, to focus on the fact that you were trying to care for me, but it’s hard. I’m still angry.”
“Is there no hope?” He’d thought maybe this was the start of a second chance, forgiveness he didn’t deserve. He’d thought this was all his dreams come true, but maybe it was the twist before the nightmare really began. How much worse would it be if he’d tasted his love one more time and then had his heart ripped out again? If Justin hammered the last nails into the coffin that buried their love. “Are you saying we’re done forever?”
“I thought you already said that.”
All his fears were still there. Nothing had changed. But… “I’d take it back if I could. I wish I’d never sent those texts. I wish I’d quit football.”
“You can’t quit.” Justin slid his fingers through Wes’s hair. Cupped the back of his neck. “Promise me you won’t quit.”
“I would quit for you.”
“Which is why I want you to promise me you won’t. No matter what. Say it. Say you promise.”
It felt like he was grinding his heart beneath the heel of his boot. “I promise,” he choked out. “I wish you knew how much I love you. And how much I miss you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” Justin tried to smile, but it came out as a cringe. “Tonight was the first date I’ve been on since you dumped me. I couldn’t even consider it. I’d get sick thinking about any other guy.”
“I saw you guys dancing together. You looked amazing. You’re so good. You… and him. You were better. I mean, in your solo. That was amazing. Just… amazing.” He needed more words. Something better to say. “You were beautiful.”
“I got your note on my car. And the lavender.”
“I want to keep coming to your dances, if that’s okay. But I don’t want to upset you. I don’t know how to do this, Justin. I don’t know how to live with loving you like this. It will fade eventually, right? Because right now it feels like I’ll love you for the rest of my life, and I’ll just have to learn to live with this hole in my chest forever.”
Justin’s eyes squeezed closed. He covered his face with his hands as he began to tremble. Behind his hands, a tear slipped free, sliding down his temple and into his hair. “That’s how I feel, too. That’s exactly how I feel.”
“I love you.” Wes took one of Justin’s hands in his and brought it to his lips. He kissed Justin’s knuckles, his fingertips. The center of his palm. Laid Justin’s hand over his heart. “I love you, and I would spend the rest of my life proving it to you. Showing you, every day, how much, how deeply, I love you. If you let me.” He held his breath. And waited.